top of page

Wishing Students Best of Luck Going Back to School

I hope everyone is doing well! Many students are heading back to in-person school, and I wish you all the best of luck (including the boys I regularly babysit)! It's been a crazy year and half. I hope this school year is calmer and easier for all the students and teachers out there. I hope all of you can breathe easier. Hopefully the final quarter of 2021 will be a tranquil one.


I'm guessing the full moon energies were impacting my sleep because I didn't sleep well again Sunday night/Monday morning (third night in a row); I kept waking up. I felt like a lot more happened than I could remember. I think part of my dream was somewhat inspired by The Ancient Magus Bride, but it was more based of personalities than the characters themselves showing up. The main thing I remember is that I was walking around a shopping plaza with April and Corliss. We stopped by a few stores (I didn't recognize any of them). We just kinda browsed, not particularly interested in buying anything. The last two stores had coworkers from my last job now working there. I said hi to them; they were happy to see me and wanted to know where I went/why I left. I honestly told them that my hand was forced and that I had planned to stay prior to the administration making me leave. They were thoroughly upset (they looked sort of like they wanted to cry or rage on my behalf). They were rather pissed about it and lamented it, since they had wanted me to stay because they adore me. They couldn't figure out what the administration's problem was; they couldn't fathom why they would want to get rid of me. They were kind of flustered since there were really long checkout lines; they were supposed to be leaving their shift apparently at 1:30, and it was only like two minutes until then. They were frustrated because the long lines meant they wouldn't be able to leave because there wasn't enough help. More happened in the dream, but that's all I remember.


My dream was kind of hazy when I woke up Tuesday morning, but I felt like a lot happened (might be hazy since I woke up several times again). At one point I was babysitting I think, but it seemed sort of like a camp. We were outside, and I was playing with the kids. I remember one of the kids I babysat before was there (he's around 3 years old), and at one point his mom was saying something to this older kid about how she didn't want her son dependent on older kids and wanted him to interact with kids his own age not just the older kid (I'm guessing the older kid was like 8 or 9 years old). There was another part where it kind of was like I was at school. It was sort of like presentations were taking place, but they were unusual. At one point the person presenting started selecting classmates that would be on teams to play a game that seemed like basketball. The next thing I remembered was being on a boat. We seemed to be traveling somewhere, but I'm not sure where (it seemed important). It seemed like a bumpy ride on choppy ocean waves. I think I was sleeping through a lot of the trip. A classmate was complaining about being hungry and made some remark about it being their mom's birthday. They also made a comment about being a spade (like the card suit but it was apparently like a zodiac sign). There were like these twin girl classmates who were complaining that going to Tennessee would suck because their friend was having them meet another person; this person was their friend's friend but not their friend. They were grumbling about how the friend was having them help this other person with some kind of study or survey project, but they knew the other person wouldn't even listen to them, so it'd be a waste of time. I was sure other stuff happened, but I couldn't remember anything else.


I ended up having some interrupted sleep again Tuesday night/Wednesday morning, so I didn't remember everything from my dream. What I did remember is that I went to some kind of office. I was visiting one of the people who had kind of been a boss of one of the schools I worked at (she was kind of an unofficial vice principal for the school; in a somewhat recent dream--probably from several weeks ago--she had come to the understanding that the director had basically brainwashed her and that she had misunderstood, so she had apologized to me). She was content to see me, and we discussed things with people I used to go to school with. I think I "wasn't supposed to be there" since I no longer worked at the school, but she didn't seem to mind. More and more people started showing up at her office to talk with us. It sort of felt like she was undercover and like the higher upside would throw a fit if they knew. She didn't treat me any different from the others, and I felt welcome there, like her office was a safe place. I noticed the director of the school was getting ready to bring people to the office, so I went to the couch that was in the corner and was somewhat hidden from the door in attempt to keep the owner of the office out of trouble (I tried to be out of sight). It didn't work, and the director saw me. She immediately started being nasty to me, demanding to know why I was there and insisting that I had no right to be there since I no longer worked for the school. I didn't want to fight and pointed out that I was merely talking to the others. She started insulting me and calling me stupid. Everyone else was shocked at her behavior. I didn't want to sink to her level, but I knew her behavior was unacceptable and asked why she was calling me stupid. She disregarded anything I had to say, looking down on me and snootily inquiring about my age before acting like I was nothing but a little child. Everyone else seemed shocked speechless. I was getting a bit emotional at this point because she was attacking me with her words. I pointed out how petty she was acting, asking if she was 2 years old (in reference to throwing a tantrum). She continued being nasty and ignoring what I had to say, acting as if I was some bug beneath her meant to be squished beneath her foot. I got fed up at this point, demanding to know what her problem was--all I was doing was sitting and talking with the others. She went on some tirade about how I was going to steal others' resources and practices to use for myself, as if I had been plotting it all along. I was so frustrated; I literally only had wanted to chat with others and nothing involving the school even came up, but the director acted as if I was out to get them as if part of some elaborate revenge scheme. I'm pretty sure I responded slowly, annunciating each word to drive my point home, that I only wanted to talk to them, nothing more. I don't think she believed me. There seemed to be a bell, as if signaling the end of the school day, and I went over to the owner of the office so I could sign out, apologizing for the mess and thanking her for having me. More probably happened, but the last thing I recall is being outdoors with the numerous classmates that had been in the office. I got this intuitive nudge that I should leave this crater/hole/canyon we were in because someone had buried some kind of bomb or explosive. I told the people I met about it before climbing up the rope I had apparently secured earlier. As I was climbing up the rope, I saw how many would be impacted by the explosion. Some people were already following me to safety, but I recognized I wouldn't be able to do anything for the rest. I was unhappy about it but realized there was no time and that it was out of my hands. The others I could not help seemed to look up to me as if begging for me to help them. I woke up before it detonated but it was going to happen soon.


I didn't remember much from my dream Wednesday night/Thursday morning (probably in part because Tsuki woke me up by knocking stuff over in my room). The little that I did recall involved partnering up with someone. They kind of reminded me of Asta from Black Clover (not sure if it was him or just someone similar to him). The partnership worked out rather well with the strengths of one person complementing the areas for growth in the other. There was some person being a jerk (I think they were trying to stop the partnership). There was also maybe like a curfew or restriction that limited what kids/teens/young adults could do; I think it involved travel. All the other details of the dream were rather hazy. I didn't remember much from my dream upon waking up on Friday morning; I think my dream involved travel. I'm not really sure where I was heading or why, but travel seemed really significant. I think my dream from Friday night/Saturday morning involved Sesshomaru at one point. I think at another point my sister was upset because someone made a comment on her weight (but she had been the one to bring up the subject in the first place in the dream--no one had even thought to say anything until she said something about her weight). The next thing that happened was something with the kitchen wall kind of crumbling a bit and revealing multiple ants; the ants were venturing into the kitchen because my sister left a mess and didn't clean up. My lack of clear recollection was partially due to Tsuki climbing onto my bed; she started off sweet, curling up to sleep with me, but she ended up trying to attack stuff around my bed. It didn't particularly help with restful sleep.


I didn't remember too much from my dream last night/this morning. What I do remember started off with like a field trip to some kind of zoo. Sesshomaru was involved and a girl that was similar to Rin (if it wasn't actually in fact Rin). The group on the field trip was I would guess around high school age (although, I guess they could have been older). Sesshomaru was super protective of the girl (not surprising if it was actually Rin). Apparently, some guy in the class had gotten her pregnant but wasn't stepping up to the plate, so Sesshomaru was ticked and basically taking over (he didn't let the other guy anywhere near the girl). There was a school bus involved with transportation, and I think a portion of the group was gushing about how cute the seals were. The bus was going to park in some kind of parking garage, but it was strange; it was sort of this underground cave thing (and had water inside it like a lake or something). I think more happened, but that's all I remember about the Sesshomaru part. I think it was still the field trip, but it transitioned to me and a class of 2nd graders from one of the schools I worked at previously. I was with a small group of students and they went into this Dr. Seuss exhibit. Apparently, the exhibit was being moved somewhere else, and the only things left were the painted walls, which featured characters from his books (but otherwise the room was kind of barren). The kids didn't seem to mind. More of the class met up with us as we went to a different section. One of the girls was acting like she didn't know how to count, but I knew that wasn't true (she struggled with self confidence and often thought she was stupid--she adored me, and I could often motivate her into trying assignments and proving that she was actually smarter than she thought). After some encouragement, she completed the counting task (counting groups of words I think--there were ten of them), and she was so proud of herself. I think more stuff happened, but one of the kids in the class pulled the fire alarm, which caused everyone to evacuate. I think they thought it wasn't real or that it was all pretend, and they were quite surprised (and scared) when it actually went off. That's all I could remember from the dream.


It was a light week of babysitting since the boys started school again in the middle of the week. At the beginning of the week I walked them through their new schedules so they could get used to the school. They seemed to have it down, and they've told me good things about school this week when I picked them up from school. I did feel bad about the schedule walkthrough, though, because they were panting like they couldn't breathe (the school requires masks, and it pulled at my heart strings. I don't understand why we have to suffocate our kids, let alone anyone. I understand that everyone has different comfort levels and whatnot, but this seems extreme to me. I hope none of the kids pass out from having to wear them because it's been crazy hot this week. The boys have loved hanging out with me after school, though. On the drive home we had a discussion about what characters would meet up to have lunch together; it stemmed from a post from the InuYasha group about how this restaurant was Naruaku's new favorite (there was a sign about how unattended fountain drinks may attract bees due to the open nature of the restaurant). They decided that Naruku would be joined by Oogie Boggie, Weavile Underwood, and Bugsy at the restaurant since they all like bugs. It was pretty humorous to listen to them as they decided who would and wouldn't go to the restaurant. They were also finding different InuYasha outfits in Animal Crossing and showing me how they could look like the various characters. It was precious. Friday afternoon was interesting; as the bell was getting ready to dismiss the students for pickup, the fire alarm went off. I'm not sure if it was planned or not (if it was, it wasn't planned all that well since there are always so many cars for dismissal--the parking lot is so chaotic and brimming with cars). At least we were able to leave fairly quickly, but it added a new level of chaos to pickup. The students swarmed the parking lot and not many of them were mindful of the fact that cars were driving through. It was an interesting experience. They showed me a Mario drawing/sketch they had worked on; it looks pretty nice. Pearl was also happy to see me, as usual.


I concluded pet sitting for my aunt's friend this week; they officially moved their son in for college and got him settled in. Nala and Big Red seemed a bit sad to see me go, but my aunt's friend said that she would save my number and keep me in mind for their future trips since the dogs seemed so happy. I'm grateful for that. It was interesting; as she paid me, the first thing I noticed was what seemed to be stamped (when I showed it to Corliss she thought it was painted) on the outer $20 bill. As there are no accidents or coincidences in this universe, I recognize it as some sort of sign, but I'm not sure what exactly it means. Maybe a comeback? What do you think?


Tsuki's been a Sour Patch Kid, as per usual. She'll be all sweet, curled up on my lap purring, before going on the surprise attack and biting me. She's adorable but at times vicious. She's a peculiar little kitten.


Little Sour Patch Tsuki has more or less destroyed one of her toys; she adores this little fishing pole toy. She can play with it for hours. I think what she enjoys the most about it is the fact that the string/line is stretchy and will bounce back, allowing her to chase it more. I wouldn't be surprised if she tore it with how much she pulls on it (she literally tries to drag the fish off while playing with it)--it's getting so many thin patches. I started working on a replacement line; I have some elastic string from when my one labradorite bracelet exploded (it was during a creating in the kitchen video; the girl I babysat wanted help making homemade slushies, and I guess all the shaking of the bag put too much strain on it). I ended up braiding several strands together to make it more durable and increase its strength. We'll probably attach it to the same pole/stick. We'll probably need to get a replacement fish--the current pink one is rather torn (she's already torn it off the line, but she's been shredding it with her teeth and claws with all her vicious playing).


New goodies arrived for me this weekend. Both my order for Spiritual Supermall's Divine $9 and the monthly Goddess Provisions box for September arrived this weekend. It's always nice to see what new goodies they have! I'm curious what they'll come out with next.


Here are the paintings for this week:


I did some reading, writing, and anime watching this week! It felt like it should be a chill week (maybe due to incoming energies?). Fanfic for this week included: If Tomorrow Never Comes, Huggles, His and Hers, For the Love of Another, Hero, To Wish Upon a Star, Uhoh, Puppy Ears, For the Last Time, It's Colorful!, Don't Forget, Follow My Lead, Perfection, Believe, Blessed Dreams, and Human. I worked on writing more this week. I submitted a short story for the Long Thaw Challenge this week, called Every Experience Has A Silver Lining. Feel free to let me know your thoughts and let me know any constructive criticism/advice you have for me to improve my writing.


I finished The Ancient Magus Bride before moving onto new anime. I watched Koikimo, which was great. The main takeaway I got from its story is that you shouldn't get too caught up in what "society thinks" because it just makes you miserable; you end up doing what you think is "right" even if it doesn't feel "right" and isn't what you want to do. If what you want doesn't harm others, you should go for it and live your truth rather than living a lie. I also watched Heaven's Design Team, and it's pretty funny. Many of us are familiar with the biblical creation story, but this story takes a fun twist on it, having God outsource the creation of animals to a design team. It's interesting that all of the members of the team are named after planets (there's no Earth, which makes sense since they send the animals to Earth, but they never mention a Uranus; maybe the insect department head is supposed to be Uranus?). Venus is my favorite, though--oh, the drama! In one episode she drags a couch out of another room in true Rarity fashion; had me laughing so hard. Corliss started watching Tonikawa and highly recommended it, so I watched that next. The main takeaway I have from its story is that it doesn't matter so much what others think or if something seems rushed or nonsensical--what matters most is if it feels right with your heart, if you live life full of love. I remembered hearing about I've Been Killing Slimes For 300 Years And Maxed Out My Level a while back and decided to check it out. It's pretty cute. I absolutely adore Falfa--she's my favorite character from the show, and I just want to hug her! The main takeaway from its story is that you shouldn't prioritize work like so many people do in today's society; if you do, it will literally kill you. Azusa was lucky enough to get a second chance at life after literally working herself to death; she learned her lesson and prioritized taking it easy and living a happy, fulfilled life over a "productive" one. We'd be wise to learn from Azusa's mistakes in her first life rather than learning from firsthand experience ourselves; sure, having financial resources is important with the same being said for contributing to society, but it shouldn't be the most important thing. Our health and overall wellbeing should be our priority.


The Ancient Magus Bride provided plenty of food for thought. The story was so deep. The characters got to me. Seriously, Nevin, the dragon... His advice and words of wisdom hit home deep. Praise be to Nevin! Thanks for imparting your incredible insight, you blessed dragon! Every time he makes an appearance in the story it's super impactful. At one point in the story Chise and Nevin meet on the border between the living and the afterlife once she completes her wand. He notices that Chise could use a pep talk and some guidance.

Nevin: "Your face, it carries a certain melancholy. Well, little bird, why not try talking to yourself?"

Chise: "... I think that... no, I know that I've become greedy. At first I, I thought I didn't care and it wouldn't matter if I were thrown away again. So, I tried not to depend on him. It's safer that way because it seemed like he didn't care, even a little. I thought it was an act. I was glad he called me family, and then before I knew it his silence and refusal to open up started to bother me. I got lonely and scared. I wish I had the strength to stay distant. If I had, I wouldn't be upset with how things are now. I wouldn't be afraid of getting kicked out because I'd know I could just move on."

Nevin: "It is impolite for me to respond when you are talking to yourself, but does this Elias really seem the sort to abruptly drive you out of your nest? Has he said such a thing? Has he behaved in ways that suggest the possibility?"

Chise: "No."

Nevin: "Then stop fearing that you might trip and accidentally tumble into the sky."

Chise: "I'm not! He doesn't mind having me around now, but he could change his mind at any minute. He could get bored of me. If she could [her mother], then anyone can."

Nevin: "I think it is my turn to speak to the wind. I am grateful to the parents of this little bird mage called Chise. When a beast finds it difficult to survive, it very often abandons or kills its young. Afterall, as long as it survives, it can have more. Yet, Chise's mother took her hands from her child's throat. Why do that? Why not simply have done with it and lay down her burden? Why did she end her life instead of the child she wished had never been born?"

Chise: "I don't... I don't know."

Nevin: "Tis quite alright. Thanks to Chise, I took flight one last time. Chise has saved others, as well, both human and beast. There are those that are home now because Chise gave them one. For Chise to have such a low opinion of herself, the belief that she could be disposed of at any time, is to say all those she helped and and saved are worth even less than her."

Chise: "That's not true! I mean, I... It's not... I didn't deliberately do any of that stuff. It just happened..."

Nevin: "Be that as it may, at times a few kind words or an offered hand can be enough to save another. I find myself wanting you to take more pride in yourself, pride in having the strength to offer your hand out at all. Therefore, your parents have my gratitude for choosing to preserve your life... Chise Hatori, you are free. Whether you live a long life, carrying your curse, or fall victim to your burden is entirely up to you. I hope for even a moment you might ponder what you wish to do, rather than what others desire. Your wand is my branch. It will light your way wherever you choose to walk, and you, my little bird, can go anywhere. Myself, Lindel, even that child of thorns, we are all connected; every soul's journey will end here to begin anew."

Chise: "Nevin, wait!"

Nevin: "Tis only a brief farewell. I suggest you give voice to what you wish to say sooner rather than later. Some words ripen with time; others tend to wither and rot. Choose well, Chise."


This scene is so deep and resonates so much with the world right now. So many people get wrapped up in fear. We can get so fixated on what could happen that we become too terrified to even move. There might not even be any "proof" or "evidence" that it may come to pass, but we convince ourselves through fear that it's going to happen. We belittle ourselves and write ourselves off as insignificant. We're so much more than we often give ourselves credit for. Being human isn't easy. We get pulled in so many different directions, so many others wishing for us to be so many different things and act in so many different ways. With so many different pulls, we can lose our way and forget (or disregard) what we actually want. We need to listen and consider Nevin's advice. Don't live a life you'd regret. Speak up and live the life you desire before it's too late. It's up to you to choose. You matter a whole lot more than what you might initially believe, and your life, your choices can change others for the better.


The story of The Ancient Magus Bride resonates so much with the current times. At one point Alice and Chise go out to look for presents, and Alice recounts the tale of how she met her master and learned how to trust again. Alice admits, "I always feel awful when I think of that." Chise feels inadequate, unsure of how to be a good friend, and remarks, "I'm sorry. I don't know what to say, but I wish I did." Alice recognizes that Chise's trying to take on everything by herself, making everything her fault, and assures, "Hey, it's my past and my problems. You shouldn't let yourself worry about my happiness, which is really up to me, isn't it? 'Preciate you listening, though." I think this is something a lot of people struggle with (or at least something that I've struggled with in the past). It's easy to beat yourself up and feel like you should be doing more. Sometimes all others need is someone to listen to them, though; they don't need you to fix all their problems for them. As Nevin emphasized, "...at times a few kind words or an offered hand can be enough to save another." The world needs more kindness, even if all you can provide is "small" acts of kindness. Even those "small," kind acts can be life-changing for others. Don't discredit yourself with how much impact you truly have; your presence means the world to others, even if you don't recognize it yet. You matter. You are loved. Be gentle with yourself and take it easy. It's okay to not have all the answers; we're all learning and growing as we continue our journeys. Do the best that you can; you don't have to be perfect--as humans, none of us are perfect. We all have our strengths and areas for growth. It's okay to feel lost sometimes. Just recognize your story isn't over yet. The universe has your back; you've got this. Continue moving forward, even if all you can do is inch along right now. The universe has amazing blessings waiting for you, so don't lose faith. It'll work out. Follow your heart, and you can be quite surprised at what you find. Take care and stay blessed with love and light, everyone~


Here's some food for thought from Ralph Smart on Infinite Waters:



Some food for thought

3 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All

Comments


bottom of page