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Seeking Rest

I hope everyone is doing well! I've been feeling rather tired lately. It was a bit of a challenge getting up this week. Others have expressed similar sentiments, so it leaves me to suspect it's connected to energies. As such, I took it rather easy this week, focusing more on resting and relaxing over being productive. I had originally intended on doing more this week (such as writing and creating art), but it just didn't feel right. It felt like it'd be too forced, so I followed my intuition and did what resonated. Whatever you chose to do this week, I hope you were gentle with yourself and found time to relax.

I was extra cozy Monday morning, so it was a bit challenging to get up for before care (especially since I had been able to stay in bed for the past 5 days due to snow--the dark and cold do not make it easy for getting up). My dream recall was a bit hazy. There was something about traveling somewhere that was next door to a school that was kind of out in the middle of nowhere; I remembered telling someone that the last time I had been out in the area (which in the dream had been like the May of the previous year since it seemed to be right before summer break) the school had been holding an outdoor book fair. I couldn't remember why I was there (or why I had been there previously). There was something about traveling in the wilderness like in Pokémon Legends Arceus, traveling in an area that was rather hilly/mountainous with lots of forest and seemed sort of like the icelands in the game. I stumbled upon a small travelling party, and they were overjoyed to see me, taking my visit as a positive omen for their trek, that they had heard if they found me, they would be able to set up a prosperous village. There was also something else where April had sent me a compilation video of Iris being cute, although some of the clips were from when she was younger. At one point she got a bit hurt and said "Owwie powwie." There was another part where she was eating an ice cream cone and managed to lick the whole scoop off in one go. A stranger came over to watch it, curious to see what I was watching. Iris showed up with April saying something about how Iris was in camp every day now. Iris was wearing camo clothes and seemed to be in martial arts. She seemed to have a lot of energy (which is nothing new) but also seemed to have a lot of frustration, wanting to punch walls or something. I suggested we go find a healthy outlet for the energy/emotions. That's all I could remember upon waking, but I knew quite a bit more happened in the dream.

I woke up extra groggy on Tuesday morning, and I was shivering even under my blankets (not sure why it was extra cold), which made it rather difficult to get up for before care. My dream recall was rather hazy. There was something about contacting my brother, whether via message or in person (I couldn't recall which) and something that seemed similar to Pokémon Legends Arceus. It was like there was a mass outbreak of snowballs, although I couldn't remember if they were sentient snowballs or just regular snowballs. I think we were supposed to catch them, so I guess they were alive, but it was all so fuzzy upon waking up. I knew a lot happened in the dream, but specific details were elusive. I woke up on Wednesday morning extra cozy and rather sleepy, but I wasn't freezing, which was a plus (it definitely made getting up easier). My dream was completely shrouded in a haze, though, and I couldn't remember anything upon waking up. I woke up extra cozy on Thursday morning quite content to snuggle up and go back to sleep, making getting up for before care a bit tricky. From the little I could remember from my dream there was some kind of challenge/competition. It seemed slightly influenced by Pokémon Legends Arceus, like with you wandering around the wilderness, but there was some kind of time limit--I think we had 20 minutes to complete it. Maybe it was defeating some kind of opponent/Pokémon or catching it; the specific details were hazy. Whatever it was, it seemed important, as if a lot was riding on it. I was rather cozy again on Friday morning and almost fell back asleep a few times. My dream recall was fuzzy again; there seemed to be some kind of competition or mastery of skills of some sort. I think Sesshomaru was there demonstrating sword skills. At one point I think I was at one of my previous jobs, but I didn't recognize the kids there. A parent was asking me a question about what would happen in 12 minutes, like if the kids would be walked to class or something (I think it was like 6:48 in the morning or something). She took a small group of boys to go change out of pajamas or something (like they had come from a sleepover). That's all I could remember upon waking.

I woke up a bit sleepy on Saturday morning, but I could recall a lot more from my dream than previous mornings. The first thing I recalled was wandering around the halls of my high school. There was a lot of students in the hallways traveling. A girl I went to school with from elementary to high school with was near the library and carrying a bunch of stuff and dropped a bunch of pins/markers. Nobody seemed to notice or care, and I went over and picked them all up for her. I then proceeded to try to go to the north exit through the social studies wing. One of the principals was trying to gather as many students as possible to the north exit and have them each give him a paper clip to make a chain; apparently, another principal was doing the exact same thing at the south exit. I didn't want to be part of it, as something felt incredibly off and wrong about the whole thing. Everyone else was way to fixated on it, and it felt like the competitiveness was reaching unhealthy levels. I decided to exit the school through the art building and side street to avoid the whole mess. It seemed like everyone was kind of brainwashed.

The next thing I remembered was traveling in the creek/valley area by my grandparents' house. Some guy was kind of following me but was having car issues. He seemed to be a bit lost and new to the area. He ended up joining me in hopes of finding his way. We ended up at what seemed to be a daycare. There was this adorable, little girl outside. She seemed to be around 3 years old. She looked like a half demon with gorgeous silver hair and little doggie ears. The guy thought she wasn't a pretty cute kid and was incredibly shocked when she raced up to envelope me in a hug and call me mommy. I wasn't surprised at all and, apparently, called her my little koala as a term of endearment. We ended up going inside the daycare-like building. The guy sat down in one area, but the kids tried to tell him he didn't want to because that was where people sat when they were in trouble. I went and laid down on this beanbag with my little girl, and she curled up with me, falling asleep. The guy came over, complaining about how the other area wasn't comfortable, and sat down on a beanbag. The teacher came over to tell me about my daughter's work, flipping through this workbook. The teacher was frustrated because my daughter was answering questions incorrectly, but I was impressed she even knew how to work on them because they looked like middle school/high school level math problems (there were lengthy word problems and algebra problems solving for x and y). The teacher wasn't happy, convinced my daughter wasn't trying, but I wasn't upset, especially considering how she was around 3 years old. I told the teacher I would look over her work with her, but I didn't say anything else, as I didn't think she should be in trouble. Some lady came looking for a boy, who got in trouble. The boy had hidden himself outside, kind of burying himself in a zen garden, but it wasn't the best job since parts of him weren't hidden and could obviously be seen. That's all I remembered upon waking up.

From what I could remember upon waking up this morning my dream was all over the place. There was something about being at my middle school for dismissal. Someone called to me when I was in line for a bus. I went to look, curious about why they wanted me, but they weren't paying attention. I ended getting on the bus. The next thing I could recall was being apart of some game. It might have been a Sonic game, as Sonic and Tails were there, but I didn't recognize the 3 other characters. The 5 had teamed up to stop this big bad. More happened, but the next thing I remembered was being on top of this hill/plateau in a heavily wooded area. There was this dinosaur/dragon being trying to figure out what was going on and why he was being targeted by this evil group. He was chatting with allies when the evil group appeared out of the woods. The younger version of Hiccup from How to Train Your Dragon appeared with Toothless to save the day and stop the evil group. More definitely happened, but that's all I could remember.

The kids in before care were a bit bummed to return to school after their surprise long weekend; some of them were even exclaiming that it felt like it had been a whole year since they were last in school. They were excited for the 100th day of school, though; it was supposed to be Wednesday, but the three consecutive snow days put a halt on that. They created a "spike dragon" and asked for my help coloring it. My art buddy was also super excited this week because her 1st grade concert/performance took place on Thursday; she was bouncing up and down all week in her excitement. She's been having a countdown going for the longest time, always reminding us the date of the performance and telling us all about her part. It's so cute, and her excitement only grew as the week progressed. She was still excited on Friday, but this time it was due to receiving a bunch of compliments for a performance well done (she kept count of each compliment she received). A couple of the girls decided to make "gifts" this week. Their gifts comprised of a cut up paper towel roll and some small, disposable cups; they wrapped them and everything. One of the boys was all upset because they wouldn't give him a gift, and one of the other girls assured him that he wasn't missing out on anything because the gifts weren't worthwhile--just cut up pieces of things and old cups. The pair of sisters brought fruit one morning, and the younger one put masks on her fruit while running away from her sister, exclaiming that her sister's fruit would give hers COVID because they weren't wearing masks. We tried explaining to her that the fruit didn't have lungs/a respiratory system, so they couldn't get sick, but she insisted that they had lungs and would get sick. She was adamant about it and refused to budge on the matter. The following day she brought in an orange and claimed it needed surgery. She started performing the "surgery," cut off part of the peel, and started taping it back together, claiming that the orange now had a baby and that the orange was now in recovery. Her sister popped up and exclaimed, "Just kidding! You're going to die!" The younger sister did not appreciate that and told her that she wasn't a doctor. They had the orange have several more "babies" and a part of the peel was, apparently, the "dad." They killed him off, though, as soon as he had his babies because, apparently, he didn't want to live any more. We had no idea why their play turned so dark, but soon they moved to a new game of school/tutoring. My coworker and the younger sister had to go to "the principal's office" where the older sister was acting as principal/therapist and offered counseling. It somehow transitioned into a tutoring session where they worked on math and naming dinosaurs. Later one of the boys decided I was a high schooler and insisted it was true because "I look like one." My reply was, "If you say so." I wasn't bothered by it (it's not the first time a kid has told me something like that, but regardless of what they say, it doesn't mean that I'm actually in high school lol). Kids can be quite unusual and full of the unexpected.

The boys were excited to see me again and wanted to talk all things YashaHime and Pokémon Legends Arceus. They wanted an update on YashaHime's story and were curious about Sesshomaru's mother's reaction to the girls as well as what would happen in modern day. They wanted to know about my progress in Pokémon Legends Arceus, and they were curious about Alpha Pokémon. They were asking about what I've named my Pokémon and suggested that I catch a regular Lucario and name it InuYasha since I named my alpha Lucario Sesshomaru (lol). They shared various Pokémon memes they've found recently and had fun in general. They were excited to tell me about how they went to a new cat café over the weekend to celebrate the younger of the two's birthdays and how their dog, Pearl, was confused when they returned, sniffing them like crazy. We also talked about anime and Disney in general, coming up with theories. The boys speculated that the Casita from Encanto was acutely the abuelo's spirit and that Mirabel has a gift of saving the family.

I did some last minute babysitting Saturday night for a family I haven't seen for a while. They were excited to see me again. The boys seemed to want to play Candyland, but it turned into pretend play with the gingerbread men. They were telling me that the kids pictured on the board near the start ended up dying, and when they died they turned into the gingerbread men. They had me pretend to be the blue gingerbread man, so I started saying stuff like, "But I'm a real boy!" They thought it was hilarious, and through their giggles they told me that this wasn't Pinocchio. They said that they were going to eat the various candy on the board but then got "eaten" by the chocolate monster by the castle, telling me that when we got eaten we would fall from the sky. I started singing, "I can fly! I can fly! I can fly!", and they started dying with laughter again, saying it wasn't Peter Pan either. They assured me that when we fell we would land on our feet and had my blue gingerbread man land on a cupcake. I exhibited mock outrage, exclaiming, "You said that I would land on my feet, but you lied! I landed on a cupcake!", and proceeded to have my gingerbread man run away, upset. They giggled and tried to chase my gingerbread man down. I continued to have my gingerbread man run away, exclaiming, "Run, run as fast as you can! You can't catch me! I'm the gingerbread man!" They were rolling with their laughter and were determined to catch the blue gingerbread man. They then told me that when they caught me they were taking me to the king. I wailed, "Nooooo! Don't take me there! The king is a fake! He acts like he's nice, but he's really mean! He tries to claim that his dungeon is a 'fungeon,' but it's all a lie! It's not fun at all!" The boys struggled with their breathing, laughing so hard. I was then kidnapped by Lord Licorice. They told me that the snake was Princess Licorice, and my blue gingerbread man was tossed into the water, instructed to taste the water that was full of salt. I sputtered, wailing, "Ugh! This tastes terrible! I don't want to taste it!!!" before proceeding to fake cry. Then there was a gingerbread twin that appeared that pretended to be a zombie to scare Lord Licorice. This twin then made the water taste like marshmallows and told me to be careful of the cracks, that the cracks would lead to lava pits. Their "game" was very unexpected, but we had lots of fun.

Tsuki's been her typical, adorable, nutty self. She's snuggled with me. She's hung out in her bed and cat house. She's tried to catch spots on the wall. She's hung out in bags. My sister even got her a new cape.

New goodies from Spiritual Supermall's Divine $9 finally arrived; it had gotten delayed due to last weeks snowstorm, so two weeks' worth arrived at once. There were so many goodies, and Tsuki tried to run off with them once they were all unwrapped.

Artwork for the week included more star constellations:

I did more writing and reading this week and also watched more YashaHime. I wrote a new story, Anything You Want, based on an interaction I had with one of the kids in before care. Kids are full of the unexpected and definitely keep things interesting. Feel free to read it and share your thoughts! I'm also open to suggestions and recommendations for future stories! I have other pieces in the works, so stay tuned for more stories! Fanfic for this week included: In the Palm of Her Hand, Sneaking a Peek, and A Miko's Pet. I watched the newest episode of YashaHime this week. I find it rather humorous that Riku and Osamu Kirin basically completely disregard Kirinmaru, despite originally being part of his body. It reminds me a lot of how Kagura wanted to thwart Naraku and sought his death. Osamu Kirin has been protecting the human world all on his own, and he's pretty sweet, considering he originally came from Kirinmaru. Kirinmaru, after all, planned on saving the humans of modern day but only as a means to an end to become "the strongest" and "surpass" the dog clan. Osamu Kirin truly seems to love humanity, although it's a bit strange that he keeps refering to the girls as his "retainers." Sure, they're younger than him and not pure demons or anything, but I'm not sure I'd refer to them as "retainers." Makes me wonder if they heard him refer to them as such or not. Watching Riku thwart Kirinmaru by snatching Rion was pretty great, too. Granted, I feel compassion for Kirinmaru as a grieving father, desperate to save his daughter, but he's going about things in the wrong way. Intending to sacrifice another for your happiness has some pretty dark energy to it, and you reap what you sow. Even if he does manage to pull of his desire(s), I feel like it'll backfire on him in a monkey paw fashion. I almost thought Moe, Sota's wife, was somehow in on all of this when she made a comment about knowing demons would attack, but it was supposed to be a gimmick of the concert with an inflatable demon/monster, which made much more sense. It had me questioning things hard at first, making me wonder if there was a lot more to Sota's wife than I originally thought--I mean, she has her eyes closed every time we see her (that I can remember), and generally the anime characters that do so have some kind of secret (Gin from Bleach comes to mind). I look forward to seeing how they continue the story! It seems like they're going to be working on stopping the Grim Comet with Osamu Kirin's help next episodes, but I'm curious if they'll be able to pull it off or if Kirinmaru will make an appearance like he so desperately wants to (granted, he might have to track down Riku first). The only way to find out is to wait and watch next week's episode.

While not too much happened this week, it also felt like a lot happened. I have the suspicion that a whole lot is happening in the astral but that my conscious, waking self is on a need-to-know basis with it. Has anyone else experienced this? I've enjoyed taking it easy, for the most part, and am extremely grateful that I don't have my previous work schedule. I was working 12 hour + days most of the time, and it just wasn't healthy. I had been programed to believe that I had to work that much to pay off my student loan debt and pay for everyday living expenses. It just wasn't conducive to the necessary rest people need, though. If I had been working that kind of work day still, I'm not sure I would have made it through this week. I'm truly appreciative of my new flexibility and free time, allowing me to pursue other areas of interest, like writing, reading, and creating art. There was rarely time for that in my previous work schedule with me constantly being on the go. While I intended to be more productive this week, I'm doing much better with being flexible, going with the flow, and cutting myself some slack. Some days you just don't have the energy (or motivation) to be super productive, and that's okay. It is what it is, and there's nothing wrong with that. We need to be gentle with ourselves, giving ourselves the time and space to be and experience how we're feeling in the current moment. Just like the weather changes, causing us to adjust our amount and type of clothing, our energy and emotions change, so it's important to adjust accordingly. There's no need to guilt, shame, or belittle ourselves. It won't accomplish anything, anyhow, as it doesn't change how we're feeling and magically have us full of energy/motivation if we do. If we need to take it slow for awhile until our energy levels increase, it's okay to take it easy. Heck, even animals know this; look at cats--Tsuki has intensive bursts of energy but also sleeps hard. If she's tired, she rests; if she's energized, she plays and races about. We can learn from their examples and stay authentic with ourselves rather than forcing ourselves to do/be something we're not feeling. Maybe other people might be disappointed, but it's better to be truthful. If we force things, we're basically being deceitful. I hope everyone takes care, makes time for rest and fun, and stays blessed with love and light~

Food for thought to consider from Ralph Smart on Infinite Waters:

Food for thought for this week:

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