I hope everyone is doing well! May's been interesting, full of processing, healing, and reflection. It's probably feeling rough for a lot of people, but don't lose faith. Don't call it quits. Sometimes the road gets a bit bumpy (and sometimes it's the bumpy roads that have the most worthwhile views!). It's never too late; trust yourself and the universe--you'll be just fine whatever comes your way. This recent song from Fearless Soul helped revitalize my spirits; maybe it'll help you, as well!
Has anyone else had interesting dreams lately? Corliss and I have been discussing dreams lately and mulling over potential interpretations and significance. I was a bit surprised when I remembered my dream upon waking up on May 20th and May 22nd, mainly because I don't usually remember much about my dreams and since this dream was pretty long. These dreams transitioned several times.
When the first dream I remembered started, I’m pretty sure my sister, Emily shared a room with me again (even though she didn’t look the same as she does in real life). I had a strange feeling and had the impulse to go beneath the bed. I pushed the bed away from the wall. I asked Emily if she would push the bed back over me after I got situated, and she agreed. I organized a few of my older pillows and blankets on the floor, and she moved the bed back to its regular spot. She apparently picked up on the vibe, though, because she soon joined me beneath the bed. We had to pull it back into place. Since I have stuff beneath my bed, I knew we’d be okay—protected. Soon some stranger entered the room. I’m pretty sure it was a guy, and he was full of rage and mal intent. He seemed to know where we were and seemed like he was looking for us. He came right over to the bed, not looking anywhere else. He didn’t try looking under the bed but seemed to recognize we were underneath the bed because he immediately started pushing down and putting as much pressure/his weight into it as he could, as if to get us to cry out. I was very calm about the whole thing, breathing normally (although I feel like normally in dreams I’d be a bit freaked out if something like this happened, but I was calm throughout). Neither of us cried out. He started growling and tried harder as if the only way he could get to us/act on his intentions was if we would make a noise or sign we were there. It didn’t work, though, and we remained safe. At this point of the dream, I don’t recall anything else happening.
The dream switched to like some kind of amusement park. I didn’t recognize the specific location. I seemed to be in some sort of group, but I don’t recall who was in the group (maybe it wasn’t anyone I’m familiar with in this lifetime). We were on some sort of ride/rollercoaster that resembled a log water ride, but the log was on a very obvious track (like you could see a chain pulling it along the track). The log couldn’t deviate from the set course (and it wasn’t all that large); it seemed to work like clockwork and that no one ran it. We had finished our turn, and the group was disembarking from the log thing when I noticed one of the preschoolers from the preschool I used to work at. He was on the tracks, and one of the log things was getting ready to go down the track, which would knock him down the track. I grabbed him, holding him tight—we ended up riding the descending log. The unexpected ride terrified him, but he was glad to see me. When we got off the ride, the scenery turned into some park with a playground. The little boy started running around on the playground, playing. I noticed someone looking at me—I think it was one of the kids from before/after care (and now that kid is in high school in real life, which is kind of mind blowing). Whoever this person was (could be the older version of the kid from before/after care) wanted to talk to me. The preschooler came back over and pulled me off to come play with him on the playground. I think the other (considerably older) boy was jealous, and I think he ended up following us. The setting transformed again, and I’m pretty sure it was my grandpa’s house (if it wasn’t, it resembled it considerably). The preschooler kept running, taking joy in the loop nature/setup of the house. I went looking for him, and overheard Emily saying that I would be upset if I knew. I walked into the dining room, and it turned out that she was talking to the older boy. He was holding the preschooler up in the air in displeasure. Upon seeing me, he put him back down on the ground. I think the older boy was upset that the preschooler had been running in the house. The preschooler came running up to me, happy to see me and wanting a hug. I ended up carrying him around. Someone (I’m not sure who) commented that a guy with white hair and blue eyes was looking at me and that he liked/wanted me. The older boy now resembled Jack Frost from Rise of the Guardians (although not identical). He had had blond hair and brown eyes previously. The preschooler apparently also changed his appearance at that point because he now had white hair and blue eyes (compared to his normal brown curls and brown eyes). I think at that point I tried to make a joke about it being the cute boy in my arms (the preschooler since I was still holding him), and the preschooler was looking up at me with complete adoration. I think I knew on some level they were talking about the older boy who now resembled Jack Frost. It seemed kind of obvious.
The scene changed again, and I was in some kind of store. There was lots of baby clothes, and I noticed quite a few strollers. The section I walked into had a lot of baby clothes featuring the Blues and Cardinals. I noticed one of my former coworkers from the preschool, greeting her. She was so happy to see me, inquiring how I was. There was a group of kids/teens (not 100% certain on their age) chasing each other around a model train table/display. There were also these two gray stone, old-timey looking fireplace type things in the back part of the store on two different walls with considerable space between them. There was some sort of method/trick to teleport between the two fireplaces. I’m pretty sure it was my dad who was sitting crossed-legged in the fireplaces, teleporting between the two—maybe by clapping? I’m not entirely certain how one would teleport between the two, but I think I remember there being clapping. This is all I remember about the store part of the dream.
I was then in some other city/town. I was unhappy about its trajectory. Something was wrong with what was happening in the place. I had been talking to people on the street in order to spark change, but they didn’t seem to want to listen to an “outsider.” Emily apparently was with me, and we went to what seemed to be somewhere like a town hall in order to talk to the leaders. I tried to convince theme to act, to save the town—it felt imperative that we do something NOW. No one seemed to recognize how timing was of the essence. Despite my attempts to communicate, the leaders seemed to write me off and blow me off, not wanting to act. This seemed to set me off, enraging me, and it seemed like I gathered them all together in order to make them listen to me. I gave quite an impassioned speech, and I got quite emotional, crying about the state of things. I don’t particularly remember all of the specifics of the speech, but at one point I was driving my point home. I informed them that I had spoken with 800 people on the street to get them to speak up and act in order to change the city/town before it’s too late. Out of the 800 none of them took me seriously, giving me half-hearted responses of “I’ll think about it.” I asked Emily how many people she spoke with. She said 800 as well, remarking, “Let me think… How many listened to me? Let me count…. Zero.” (She was being so sassy lol.) I then pointed out to one of the newly appointed leaders to see if he would talk to people to help spur them to act. Apparently, his name was Adam, but I’m not sure if it was my brother. He had been busy, but he had spoken with 5 people. Of those 5 people, 3 said yes they would help protect the town and speak up. The other 2 said they would think about it, but they had actually meant it; they had not given the half-hearted responses Emily and I had received out of social politeness/obligation. I pointed out that of the 1,600 people spoken to, the only time it was taken seriously was when one of the leaders acted and spoke up. I emphasized their important role in this—that they could do something to help rectify the situation. I vaguely remember there being a strip mall taking over, but that could be due to my mom watching General Hospital; in the episode she watched the previous day someone was terrorizing and destroying small towns by getting crime to spike, so he could drive the local businesses out in order to buy the plots for dirt cheap and then sell them to companies and developers. In the one town a strip mall had taken over the place, and it had destroyed the natural atmosphere of the town. I think I had convinced the leaders to act in the dream, but then it ended.
Corliss prompted me to consider my dream and determine if I had a central thought on the dreams combined. I paused to reflect upon the dream. It seemed kind of all over the place. It didn't seem like they had a strong/obvious connection, like acts in a story that flow together perfectly. I knew the dream held great significance, though, since I not only remembered dreaming it but recalled a great number of details about it (that hasn't been that typical for me). Considering what themes could be drawn from the different parts of the dream, I suggested the possible theme of being okay no matter what and that society/people rely on me/need me more than I realize, that I'm more important to others than I recognize. Corliss agreed with my interpretation. (I'm open to others' interpretations, also, so feel free to share!)
The dream I remembered upon waking up on the 22nd started with what seemed like pet sitting. There was a cat involved (but I don’t remember who’s cat it was or what it looked like). I think my aunt Sandy was with me. I don’t recognize the location/home from the dream, but my dream-self seemed to accept it/expect it. I’m hazy on the details but I think I was over to feed the cat.
The dream transitioned, and we were outside. Iris was there, playing/possibly riding a bike or tricycle. There was some sort of light-hearted search/game going on, similar to an Easter egg hunt, but I don’t think it was an actual Easter egg hunt. There was also a small table set up with dishes and whatnot, similar to the plastic kiddie one that was outside my grandma’s house growing up where my siblings, cousins, and I would play and eat at. There was a group of kids, maybe around six of them. I don’t remember who they were or if they were younger versions of my relatives. I do remember all of them just up and left the table, leaving a mess (trash, dishes, etc.) all over the table and not caring about it. I remember getting frustrated about it and emphasized the importance of cleaning up. I think some of them came back to help clean up, but I ended up cleaning up a lot of the trash, and I think my dad put away the table (but I’m not sure why it needed to be picked up and put away). I don’t recall any more from this part of the dream.
The dream transitioned again, and I was at some school. I’m guessing it was a high school as in the dream I recall there being two lunch periods (like how it had been at my high school), but it didn’t seem the same as the high school I attended in the “real world.” There was some project the class was working on in groups of three. I don’t recall the specifics of the project’s subject (but I’m not certain they actually specified what it was in the dream). I remember working on it, and when my group finally stopped working, my two groupmates were quite upset. Turns out we had worked through the entire class period and almost all the way through our lunch period (it was essentially over—we had a couple of minutes left). There hadn’t been a bell or any sign to signify the end of class. I think my groupmates were tearing up (but I don’t think they were willing to actually cry). I don’t think I had much of a reaction—I wasn’t happy or upset or even hungry. Our teacher announced that 3 groups still had to present their projects. There was some unease in my group since we had some sort of complication/issue with the project and hadn’t finished. I don’t remember what prevented us from finishing, but the teacher (who I think was my US history teacher from high school) somehow knew this and gave us an extra day to complete it before we would present it. None of the other groups were bothered by this. The class seemed to dismiss. Still at school, I found myself in some sort of break room/lounge, but it didn’t seem to be the teachers’ lounge since a group of students were there. I don’t remember what they were talking about, but I did recognize many of them as they had attended school with me. I remember looking at the three vending machines in the room. The first one seemed to have desserts. The second had drinks. I’m not sure what the third one had because I only remember trying to get things from the first two. I tried to get some kind of chocolate chip cookie dessert from the first one for $1 and get some “organic bottled water” that depicted a tiger in a jungle on the bottle from the second vending machine. It confused me that it was $2 (I was surprised and thought it should also be $1), but apparently it was a 2-pack. The price wasn’t a problem since I was able to find a variety of change to use. It didn’t seem to belong to anyone and felt meant for me. After putting money into the vending machines, neither one of the desired items came out from either vending machine. This puzzled me since neither said they were out of stock. I wasn’t sure what to do about it, but I wasn’t upset since I had found the money. I noticed the others were grabbing things off of a nearby table/counter, and I ended up grabbing some mint and chocolate bar before leaving the room. I don’t remember anything else about the dream.
Corliss ended up messaging me about how her hands felt a bit stuck later that morning. It made me wonder and consider if the items from the vending machines in my dream had been stuck. It would be a logical, possible explanation. I mentioned it to Corliss. Turns out she had a recent dream about being at a jungle school with me and had been at vending machines. Her dream was a bit different from the one I remember (but maybe I simply don't remember all of the dream I had--who knows). In her dream the vending machine kept giving her money, but whenever it was my turn nothing would happen. The vending machines were literally spitting out money at her. She was in disbelief; she wanted confirmation from me that I was witnessing this strangeness, and apparently, I was merely observing while eating a bar that had come from the vending machine. She remembered putting stuff in a duffle bag that was on a low table that was covered in vines. She also recalled a glass roof and seeing something. In her dream she felt we had to leave. She's pretty sure some kind of prehistoric bird was coming, and it was not good news. She remembered also being on a "project," but she knew it was some kind of mission (like infiltrating the school?). The details of the dream and mission were a bit hazy--she wasn't able to provide specifics on what the mission was actually about.
While we were discussing our dreams about projects/missions, it reminded me about the recent dream I had with Sandra (TheMagnificentFuture) in it. This dream was a lot more fuzzy when I tried to recall it; I don't remember much about it at all. What I do remember is that Sandra and I were travelling, perhaps via bus or plane. I think other things happened in between that and what I next remember happening. I ended up at the church/school my dad grew up with. I was walking throughout the halls when someone called out to me. It turned out to be Laurali, the girl I babysat for years. She raced up to me, excitedly chatting with me and following me around. That's about all I could remember from that dream. When I mentioned this hazy dream to Corliss, she said that she had been thinking about Laurali and her mom lately and had a dream where she was taking her niece to come hang out with Laurali and Iris. I've gotta say, I miss Laurali and her family--they're so sweet. They moved a few years ago, though, so I don't see them very often. The dream with Sandra had me realize that I hadn't seen any videos from her lately (I love Sandra--she's a wonderful soul). I went to look for her channel only to realize that it has been completely removed. I tried looking for her accounts on other platforms/sites, only to be unable to find anything. I even downloaded Telegram because I remembered her mentioning that was a new place to find her.... Nothing... It's rather disappointing, and it saddens me.... I hope she's doing well. I always enjoyed her videos.
We discussed our dreams as we hung out today. We reached some new conclusions through our discussions, and one of Corliss's a-ha moments was when we were discussing "getting better." A lot of people get wrapped up the "shoulds" and wanting to be better. There's nothing wrong with wanting to improve and achieve self-growth, but there's also nothing wrong with you as you are as we are all masterpieces and the work-in-progresses at the same time. Corliss received a moment of clarity: the focus shouldn't be on "being better"--we're merely mastering. It has a different feel to it. Our discussions always provide some deep food for thought. We found some more crystal buddies at Sunshine Daydream; they're so gorgeous! I love finding these beauties that resonate so much with me.
We enjoyed stopping by United Provisions to see if there are any awesome goodies; I wanted to get some more of the mint chocolate malt balls I had gotten last time (they're delicious). I checked to see if there was any mint Pocky, but I wasn't surprised that they still didn't have any. While we were there, though, we did notice a new flavor of Pocky: Sakura Matcha. It sent me in a fit of giggles, and I told Corliss that Pocky now officially ships "Matcha Blossom." Cherry and Joe from SK8 the Infinity are hilarious; I shared a video with Corliss featuring some of these improv skit clips from when some of the voice actors got together for a steam. The video convinced Corliss she had to watch the anime; the voice actors and anime are freaking hilarious!
It was an interesting day, though. People seemed kind of off and strange. After Corliss had gotten a few things from CVS, we had stopped at a bench so she could organize her purchases and get something out of her backpack. We had been there for a matter of seconds, and two employees came out of the nearby restaurant. Apparently, the bench belonged to the restaurant. They asked if we wanted to buy anything, but we informed them that we were just stopping for a moment. What they said wasn't all that weird, but the way they said it and vibe they were giving were so off. On paper it was normal, but the energy of it all was off-putting. They started going on about how it was only for customers, that they didn't care, but their manager would likely come out and talk to us, etc. etc. There was nobody else even around; they weren't at peak rush. We were gone within a minute, too. We'd get it if they were packed or if we had been there for quite some time, but we weren't stealing space from paying customers or even bothering anyone. Later, there was strangeness with an employee putting back some items that Corliss asked them to put on hold for her. She had told them that she was coming back for it, but when we returned, everything was back on display. A different employee came over asking if they could assist us since the employee that had put the items back was blatantly avoiding us. There was such a strange energy to it all. When we went to get cookies from Insomnia cookies, there was more strangeness. We know that they've been locking the door at 10 pm due to the recent circumstances in the world, but we found the door locked at a little before 6:30 pm. It confused the heck out of us. There was no sign. There was no explanation. When we got an employee to notice, they informed us that they were currently out of cookies, but they'd have more in about 20 minutes. We ended up placing an online order so they'd be ready to go when the new cookies were finished baking. We returned about a half an hour later only to find the door locked once more. It made no sense. The cookies were ready. I received a notification that we could call for curbside delivery or go in the store to pick them up. I ended up having to call them, and once the staff brought the cookies out, it seemed like they just wanted to get rid of us. We've never experienced such strange and intense energies in that area before--we love hanging out in the area. Corliss even had felt some resistance to going there when we had been discussing going there, but she had dismissed the thought without bringing it up. It was an unusual afternoon/evening, but we witnessed a breath-takingly stunning sunset as we ate some dinner.
The strangeness continued in a different way as we went on an adventure. We followed our intuitions like the past few weeks to see where the universe would lead us. We found several locations we had never known about before. The first place seemed to be by some old train tracks. The frogs were so loud over there; we couldn't see them through the dense trees, but it sounded like there were vast numbers of frogs. We wandered around on foot by the trees to see if we could find anything neat. Corliss started hearing some people in the trees, but I don't think there were actually people in the trees. She thought she could distinguish three different entities. After several minutes I thought I could hear some of what she was referring to, but it was so quiet. We couldn't tell if they were speaking in a human language, and if so, which one. It was a really peculiar experience. The night continued the theme as we followed our intuitive impulses and nudges. As we drove, we would catch wind of super sweet scents--whenever we would smell that scent it felt as if we were traveling in the right direction. Contrastingly, if we started feeling something was off about the direction we were traveling, a horrible smell would soon arise. The scents were confirmation to what we were intuitively feeling. We ended up by this lake. It might have been some park; it consisted of open space (no playground) and a loop of parking lots. When we arrived to the location, my fingers experienced a strange sensation. They started feeling almost a pressure, with tingles in the tips. The longer we were there, the more the tingles spread down my fingers. I've never experienced anything like that in my life before (at least that I remember). Corliss had witnessed some sort of streak/lines of light that disappeared rather swiftly. We saw birds disappear in the sky. We witnessed many fireflies. When energies were feeling as if they were growing, we watched as a firefly started off a great distance away from us and came directly in front of us. We decided to approach the lake because we felt a strong pull. As we approached the water's shore, Corliss felt an energetic presence (what she later noted felt like a mermaid) right before we both heard a huge splash. The splash came from exactly where Corliss felt the presence. The water seemed to glow. It felt so alive. Corliss was even able to basically water bend, pulling the tide with her arm movements. It was so surreal. We looked up at the moon to find a lunar rainbow. We glanced to the far side of the other shore over the tree line to suddenly see illuminated white smoke. It appeared suddenly and disappeared just as suddenly. It reappeared like half an hour later only to quickly disappear again. When we were considering leaving, we noticed what almost seemed to be glowing eyes in the trees that disappeared almost instantaneously. I don't know what exactly all of the experience meant, but it was so interesting. Corliss and I always have these exciting adventures. I wonder what will happen next.
Fluffy cat has enjoyed snuggling and exploring this week. She's so cute! I always love spending time with this adorable cat!
Here are the art projects for the week; I ended up playing and experimenting with paint, creating prints and marbling effects as well as experimenting with moving paint by using air/a hairdryer. Let me know if you have any suggestions for future project ideas!
I also received some more goodies from Spiritual Supermall this week; their Divine $9 lineup releases new goodies every week, and it's always so exciting! I'm eager for the next set!
I spent a lot of time relaxing with fluffy cat this week; we read fanfic and watched some shows together. Corliss recommended Brave New World to me, and it was interesting. There were parts that left me feeling rather nauseous (violence and gore isn't my thing), but it provided some food for thought. It was a pretty good mirror for the world and what could happen. The founders of New London had pure intentions (they didn't want anyone to suffer or feel pain any more), but it got way out of hand, twisting into something way more than they ever intended. I started watching Kuma Kuma Kuma Bear this weekend; I just happened upon it and decided to check it out because it looked cute. I have no regrets about this anime; it's great! I can't wait to see how it continues. Fanfic for this week: From Birth, Sixty Days, To Be a Miko, But of Course, Stupid Tuesdays, To Get Together, Because of Her, A Chance Winter Romance, Bailamos, Bucket List, Bucket List Part II, Pretty Lady, and Snowfall.
I did a bit of last minute babysitting Friday night; the boys' parents had decided to go to a baseball game spur-of-the-moment. They boys had a blast and caught me up to speed since I last saw them at the beginning of the month. They were super excited to discuss the new Pokemon Snap game they had just gotten. We played some Pokemon Sword, we did some Disney karaoke, we celebrated the end of the school year with cookies, we played with their dog, we relaxed, etc. It was a really laid back evening, and I loved it. Their parents had decided to leave the game early (it seemed like it had been a long week for them). They brought up how they had reported a car fire to the police as they were leaving the area. At first they had thought that maybe it was an accident, but as they got closer it seemed like it was the result of potential unrest between two youth groups. They decided to get away from the area swiftly. I remarked, "People definitely know how to keep things interesting." Their parents agreed, but one of the boys scoffed, "That's the understatement of the year." People have been keeping it extremely interesting over the past year. I don't think there's truly been a dull moment since all of this started. I'm not sure what sparked that incident by the game, but I wish everyone involved in it well--I hope they can find a sense of peace and tranquility. If things had transpired in the way that their parents believed they did, the souls involved are definitely feeling turbulent and restless. Hopefully, they'll be willing to start processing their wounding and undergo some healing.
I know that it seems pretty crazy out there in the world, but no matter how crazy it seems there are still incredible people out there. Seriously, some of the sweetest souls can synchronistically walk straight up to your doorstep. On Saturday morning my parents had gone for a walk like they usually do, and my mom had lost a check she received for my deceased uncle's taxes, which she is supposed to distribute amongst the siblings. Once they got back and realized that the check was no longer on her person, she started freaking out. Trying go about it in a logical manner, my parents decided to retrace their steps to go back out to look for it but didn't find it. My mom proceeded to flip out again because she didn't know what to do. My dad ended up calling the police in case anyone found it. The rest of the day proceeded without them hearing anything. I happened to be watching Kuma Kuma Kuma Bear with fluffy cat when the doorbell rang. I thought it was strange because nobody was anticipating any packages, and the mail had already been delivered for the day. As I was walking towards the front door, I noticed a little girl standing on the sidewalk. It was peculiar since I didn't recognize her--every now and then the kiddos I babysit stop by to visit me as a surprise. Upon opening the door, I saw an older lady waiting on the steps. She had walked over to return the missing check. She remarked how surprised she was to find it, commenting, "What in the world? What is this doing here??" The little girl (possibly her daughter or granddaughter) remarked, "I thought it was just a piece of paper!" I replied, "Well, it IS a piece of paper, but it's a pretty important piece of paper for some people." They were really sweet. Here's proof that hope isn't lost. Don't lose faith in humanity; we've got this. Stay blessed with love and light, everyone~
Here's some food for thought from Ralph Smart:
Food for thought for this week: