Jessica
- May 9, 2021
- 12 min read

Happy Mother's Day!

I hope everyone is doing well! I wish all the moms out there a relaxing, fun Mother's Day! This week has been a strange one; has it seemed strange/different/unique to anyone else? The following video below explained so much about what I've been experiencing this week. This week I've been "sick," but it's been unlike any other illness I experienced before (plus, I haven't been sick in the longest of times, so it really threw me for a loop that I got any sort of sickness in the first place). It resembled a cold, but it was the strangest "cold" I've ever experienced. Random bouts of intense heat (mainly occurring at night/in the early hours of the morning), waking up frequently throughout the night and not being able to go back to sleep despite the intense exhaustion I felt, having a "stuffy" nose that I can actually breathe out of, feeling like my nose is runny but it actually isn't, feeling the occasional urge to cough but when it actually occurs it comes out like some sort of fake cough, very few sneezes, feeling fairly energized during the day hours, etc. The first day I thought it was strange that I was sick at all but figured sometimes life happens in the form of illness. When it kept stretching on and on over the days, though, it confused me considerably because when I used to get sick I was never sick for very long. It made me wonder where it came from/what caused it. I struggled to wrap my mind around it. I began to wonder if it was some sort of purge since I know purges can take various forms--a purge would make sense in light of the changes in Mother Earth and the energies. Then this video clicked everything into place. Granted, it hasn't been all that pleasant to experience (i.e. the heat when it strikes is rather intense and quite uncomfortable if I'm going to be completely honest), but at least I have confirmation that the universe has a divine purpose for this experience (granted, I know that the universe has divine planning/timing for everything--it's just nice to be clued in to understand what part of that plan is). I also figured that this was also being used as an opportunity to truly be in this moment with my body (it's no easy feat to go off into the past/future/fantasy when it sort of feels like flames are licking you from the inside). As grateful as I am for what this experience represent, it would be nice not to undergo it again. Not anywhere close to my favorite experience (although my soul may disagree since it can help me tap into the higher energies and all). Anyone else have any experience like this one?

Purging, letting go, and trusting the universe/your intuition are really big this month.

I ended up making a bunch of art for my mom as gifts; I decided to create cat silhouettes for the large paintings I created previously on canvas since she loves cats and since it seemed like it needed a little something extra. I also made her a variety of other paintings in blue color schemes as well as a painting in honor of her boss that passed away earlier this year (her work is planning on creating hats in his honor, but she doesn't like hats). I also created some Perler bead projects for her (she loves the Blues). Additionally, I played with other color schemes for the heck of it, and I created additional InuYasha themed Perler projects (this time rainbow and cosmic themed Kikyo). I'm not sure what I'll create next week, but I'll likely keep playing with paint and create some more marblings. I'm always open to suggestions and recommendations, though!

Fluffy cat has enjoyed exploring outside. We've loved viewing the vast blue sky and finding surprise flowers. She was disappointed that it was rainy for a few days. She adores the sun and her cat naps. She's so cute! I just want to snuggle with her.

I ended up watching the boys again while their parents went out to celebrate their anniversary. They were so excited to see me (apparently they had been talking about me coming over nonstop). One of the boys tried to rush through his food because he was that eager to talk to me. We ended up talking about various Pokemon movies, InuYasha/YashaHime, their upcoming presentation on sea turtles, new movies, and what Iris has been up to. Pearl was eager to use me as a pillow during the conversation. At one point, they had me try their VR set. It was a bit disorienting. I did okay for my first time using it, but they had decided to have me do hard mode for whatever reason. The goal of the game was to knock the blocks with light saber type things in tune to songs; the song they picked was so freaking fast-paced. They seem to be pros at it, but I can't say that I'm particularly interested in playing again. I'm super grateful I had the opportunity to hang out with them again; I've missed seeing them regularly, but I should be seeing them quite often over the summer, so that's exciting.

I was super excited when my new goodies from Spiritual Supermall arrived! The new labradorite pyramids are here!!! I love them; I'm so grateful they decided to create them. They're gorgeous, and I adore labradorite. I can't wait to see what new Divine $9 goodies they'll have next week. I love these weekly goodies!

Corliss and I decided to stroll around the Loop since it was so nice out on Friday; it was absolutely gorgeous. We decided to stop by Sunshine Daydream just to see what new crystals they had; surprise, surprise, we ended up acquiring new crystal buddies. The citrine point literally screamed at me for attention; it was so vibrant and saturated. I couldn't leave it behind. I then noticed the fluorite palm stone--it has so many rainbow flashes. Corliss and I then noticed that they had a new display case, and that's where I found the fluorite point--it's so blue! I love the color blue, and I had yet to find a piece of fluorite that was that blue. I hadn't intended to get anything, but I regret nothing. They're just so beautiful. Crystals are absolutely stunning. We stopped by United Provisions to see if they had any interesting food goodies; I found the Kirby and Dragon Ball Z snacks by the checkout amusing. I looked down and laughed when they caught my eye. Life is full of surprises. We grabbed some Corner 17 and some cookies from Insomnia Cookies before going on an adventure. We had done some stargazing for a few hours--there were so many UFOs. No, they were not airplanes, as we saw multiple airplanes, too, but they were obviously airplanes. It was blatantly obvious what was an airplane and what was not. The airplanes provided definite contrast and confirmation that the many strange aircraft were not planes. Planes don't move the ways the craft were, and they don't get into those strange formations. The craft literally were forming lines and constellation-shapes and traversing across the night sky. They just kept coming, too. We lost count--there were that many. Corliss had witnessed the same phenomenon the previous night on her walk. It seemed almost like they were doing energy gridwork in the sky. I felt SUPER energized; I had trouble staying still. I ended up excitedly jumping up and down, creating flowing movements with my arms, and doing all sorts of dances. I had a strong urge to have maracas. Now, I can be playful and enjoy movement, but that is not my typical state by any means. I can easily stay still. After a whole lot of clouds decided to blanket the sky, we felt the strong impulse to start driving. We didn't have an end destination; we merely followed our intuition. We ended up driving for probably an hour and a half or more. The impulses and energetic nudges ended up having us drive in what almost seemed like circles (we kept coming across the same streets, such as Princess, Countess, Empress, Lord, Baron, Prince, Royal, etc.) but we never saw the same stretch of the streets. We were slightly confused by what the purpose of it was, but listening to whatever the impulses were felt inherently right. We ended up finding two dead ends with 3 red triangle/quadrilateral signs each, which seemed to signify the end. We both simultaneously that the task was concluded and immediately felt tired. It was around 12:30 am at that point, and we hadn't felt any sort of fatigue until that point. It almost felt like we were the "feet on the ground" doing gridwork at ground level while the craft handled the skies. Whatever the task was, we felt a definite "mission accomplished" feeling. It was an interesting experience, needless to say.

I watched more anime and read fanfic this week (as per usual). This week's fanfic includes: Poodle Allergies, Sesshomaru Comes to Dinner, and Cereal Box Romance. I watched the latest episode of Fruits Basket, and it hit home hard. Momiji grew so much! AHHHH!!!! There's so much character growth happening. Characters are reaching breaking points and reaching greater depths of understanding. I love this episode. It feels so aligned with what so many people are going through right now. I feel like it resonates with what our souls and the universe want us to comprehend and finally learn; it's summed up rather nicely by Momiji as he asserts, "No, don't tell me I can't find happiness because of the things I've lost. You're not the one that gets to decide that! I am! It could still be out there somewhere. Sure, I'm scared and lonely now, but my happiness might be just down the road, waiting for me to catch up... It's time. My path is my own to choose, and I'm ready to take the first step." Things have changed so much over the past year or so. People have lost quite a lot, whether it be loved ones, jobs, businesses, homes, etc. Just because life has changed and we may have lost things that are precious doesn't mean that "it's all over." We can still find happiness, but it's a choice. Momiji is choosing to continue moving forward despite the fear of the unknown, despite his loneliness. He recognizes that his current situation isn't permanent, though. Yes, it hurts so much, but that doesn't mean it is forever. We can find happiness again. We're on a journey, and we never know what is waiting for us just around the corner. If we never take any steps forward, we'll never find the blessings the universe is waiting to shower us with. It may be difficult at times, we may stumble or even fall, but we can reach it. It's not a race; we can take as long as we need to. There's no rush. The universe knows and loves us; our path is uniquely our own, so we don't need to compare it to others'. The road will be a lot smoother if we're honest and authentically ourselves.

I also started watching SK8 the Infinity this week. Normally, things like skateboarding wouldn't catch my interests, but after stumbling upon a video, my curiosity was piqued. This is the video that sparked my intrigue; I love the comedy of it all--"Please, oh, please! Don't take Daddy away!" I wasn't hooked until the "Daddy" scene; once that scene struck I knew I had to watch SK8 the Infinity even though skateboarding doesn't typically broach my realm of interest (not all that big a fan of sports and the like, but Free! and Haikyuu have overcome those obstacles--I got invested in their sports/matches because I'm invested in the characters and their growth lol). I have no regrets. This anime is amazing and hilarious!

For those of you who would like a further taste, check out this video:

I haven't finished the anime yet, but it is quite compelling. It resonates a lot with the current times and what people are experiencing. It delves into the realm of fear and overcoming it. It explores trusting one's intuition and inner knowing. When Adam (the undefeated best skater at S) challenges Langa to skate at S, Reki is deeply concerned for his new friend, Langa. Adam had just basically mopped the floor with Reki in a race, which resulted in Reki injuring his arm. Adam is a bit insane in terms of skating prowess (and possibly mentally--he seems rather intense, obsessive, narcissistic, and possibly even sadistic since he's sent a large number of skaters to the hospital). It's understandable that Reki feels crippling fear. Many would likely experience the situation the same (I can't say I'd want to face Adam or have any of my loved ones race him). Reki tries to talk Langa out of the race (like how others often try to talk us out of things that we decide to do, even if it's with no mal intent).

Langa: "I'll be fine."

Reki: "Says who? You can't know that for sure!"

Langa: "I do 'cause no injury will make me want to quit. It's gonna be alright."

Reki is fearful that he'll lose another friend; his friend that had introduced him to S ended up severely injured from a race and quit skateboarding. Langa assures him that he'll be alright, that he won't do anything too risky, which helps appease Reki. Langa feels this inner calling to race Adam anyway, risks be damned--one can try to fight synchronicity and one's inner calling, but that doesn't mean it will work out well. During Langa's race with Adam, even more insanity ensues. Langa forces Adam to race seriously from the start, and basically both of them push the other to stretch their limits even further. To evade Adam and his somewhat crazed style of skateboarding, Langa ends up jumping over Adam--a feat no one else would be able to pull off, but he could due to his extensive snowboarding background and snowboard-esque skateboard. Reki is not happy with Langa's risky stunt.

Reki: "What were you thinking, jumping over Adam like that?"

Langa: "It came to me while we were spinning. My gut said get closer instead of pulling away."

Reki: "So.... you just did it?"

Langa: "Yeah."

While not said in so many words, Langa trusts his intuition. He listens to the inner guidance that urged him to do the exact opposite of what others and logic would insist he do. Such an urge doesn't make logical sense, and he doesn't have time to mull it over in the heat of the moment. They are racing at intense speeds with turns approaching fast and Adam wishing to do his intense skateboarding dance with whomever he races. It could easily turn into do or die. The stakes are immense, and one misstep could have serious repercussions. So many people have learned to ignore this inner voice, writing it off as nonsense. How different would life be if we all listened to it? What impressive feats would we accomplish if we chose to trust these intuitive impulses rather than believing in fear? Langa had plenty of reason to be ensnared by fear, but he chose to listen to that inner guidance, thus pulling off a mind-blowing stunt and jump that no one thought possible. How many of us would be able to soar over our obstacles if we would only listen? We often let the past dictate our now; granted, the past can be a great teacher, but it is not our now. Learning from past experience is helpful, but it's important to not live in the past. Each now moment is new; life is ever-changing. It's important to continue learning and growing rather than to remain stagnant in our experiences. After completing a street art performance with his calligraphy, Kaoru/Cherry Blossom remarks, "I chose the phrase: repent and make efforts. It's important to make peace with those we've hurt on our path to evolution. All humans make mistakes. However, it's our challenge to learn from them." We're all on this path of evolution, learning as we make our way. To be human is to make mistakes; it makes all the difference to learn from them. They are no longer "mistakes" if we learn from them; they become learning opportunities. Our mistakes don't define us; mistakes are chances from the universe for us to continue our growth and further improve. That's not to say that it will be easy, though. As Kaoru points out, it's our challenge to learn from mistakes. Challenges don't have to be a "bad thing" because, after all, how much do you actually learn when things are so simple and easy?

Serious props to skateboarders; they seem to have great confidence. I don't know if I would be able to skateboard. Granted, with enough practice and dedication I can do whatever I choose, but to build up the skill to skateboard like any of the characters would result in a lot of falling, scrapes, bruises, etc. Credit where credit is due to Langa; he never gave up despite his struggle in learning how to skateboard. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that he's been snowboarding since he was two, but the two kinds of skating are simultaneously similar and very different. Langa proves that we can accomplish anything that we set our minds to. SK8 the Infinity also emphasizes the importance of fun; so many people can get caught up in the serious nature of society and the drive to win. Winning is nice, but it isn't everything. Langa emphasizes, "It's not about winning. This is an adventure; isn't that right?" Strive to win if you wish, but don't forget to enjoy the ride along the way, laughing with friends and loved ones. Honestly, it feels like a bigger "win" to enjoy the adventure known as life since so few seem to be able to do so. So many people seem obsessive in their desire to obtain possessions, status, and wealth, but how many can say they had fun in the process of achieving their accomplishments? What's the point to have so many things, to acquire fame and fortune if you don't enjoy the journey? Does such a life truly feel fulfilling? It seems rather empty to me. "Winning" or "losing"--if you can honestly say that you did your best and enjoyed the journey, then it really shouldn't matter if you won or lost. Life's what you make it. What kind of life do you want? Live your life in accordance to that wish and make it reality. We are truly capable of much greater feats than we often give ourselves credit for. Trust. Believe. The universe loves us and wishes to shower us with its blessings if we open ourselves to them. Savor your journey; there's not another one quite like it. Stay blessed, my friends~

Here's some food for thought from Ralph Smart on Infinite Waters: