Jessica
- Jan 23, 2022
- 22 min read

Happy MLK Day and Full Moon in Cancer!

I hope everyone had a wonderful week! The energies from the full moon on Monday seemed pretty intense; I was left feeling rather lethargic most of the week and felt absolutely exhausted on Friday/Saturday morning, regardless of the amount of sleep/rest I got. I feel much better now even though I got less sleep last night than the previous night. Go figure. Anyone else experience something similar? I know April's mom was remarking how Iris seemed extra sleepy lately, so I figure others experienced it, too. If you're interested in learning more about the recent full moon, I included some links to videos and meditation below you can check out:

My dream from Monday morning started off with my sister going to school. She had signed up for some journalism classes and seemed pretty interested in journalism. Then she heard from the teacher that she had to spend 4 hours researching each piece that she would write, and she jumped ship, canceling all her classes all together. She thought that was ridiculous and refused to do so. The dream transitioned, and I was at some sort of school. In the class we were getting ready for some kind of art competition. I had been designing some shirts and creating some paintings. My classmates were really intrigued by what I was working on and impressed with how they were turning out. Corliss showed up and wanted to help. She started working on some class assignment and got confused. She had been making some kind of collage with bits of paper. I reviewed what she was doing and informed her that we actually didn't have to do that part, that we only had to complete the first part on the assignment sheet, and she expressed great relief. My middle school teacher came into the room (apparently, she was the teacher of the class). She started singing "If You're Happy And You Know It." I clapped my hands at the appropriate time, but everyone else kind of half-heartedly said, "Clap clap." My middle school Spanish teacher tried again but got the same results. She thanked me for actually clapping, which surprised me. There was more to the dream with things happening elsewhere in what sort of looked like a library with huge murals painted everywhere, but it was really hazy, so I couldn't recall anything else upon waking.

A lot happened in my dream Monday night/Tuesday morning, although recalling all of it was a bit fuzzy. The first part sort of seemed like a Sonic game; there was travel involved with a small group via plane, yet we were trying to collect rings, going in loops and what not. I couldn't recall where we were going or the significance of the rings. At one point we traveled under water (the ocean?), too. Things got kind of foggy, but I remembered trying to find someone that I used to go to school with; I think people had been judging them in the dream and ridiculing them even though they're a nice person. I think I had been driving around in attempt to find them, passing the pool where there was this huge crowd trying to get in--the line went all the way across the street, and the people were pretty rowdy/excited. I noticed that there were lots of towers being erected (the 5G kind), and I remembered trying to find areas that didn't have them because it was getting ridiculous. I think the dream transitioned, and there was this skeleton like being. It kind of reminded me of a life-sized puppet, but it was pretty friendly. It was wearing this dapper little outfit/suit and was pretty happy. It had this little companion/pet/friend that was made out of gold. It wanted to be friends with me and take me somewhere, but it didn't try to pressure me into doing anything, allowing me to take my time/do as I pleased. I think we wound up at like a car mechanic shop at one point, although I'm not sure why.

I'm pretty sure more happened, but I was rather suddenly and rudely woken up by some kind of energy/being. Whatever it was wanted to scare me, trying to instill fear in me by paralyzing me with its intense, negative energy. It completely backfired on it, though. I was pretty calm throughout the whole thing and sent it massive amounts of love and light, visualizing warm, loving hugs. It probably took about 15 seconds for the being/entity to realize their plan wasn't going according to plan at all, as it gradually started backing off. I started blowing kisses at it, too, not letting whatever it was rattle me. It probably lasted around a minute. I remained unshaken throughout the entire ordeal, and at the start it was crazy intense (I'd imagine it was very similar to the massive spiritual pressures in Bleach). Aside from freaking me out to lower my frequency, I'm not sure what its end goal was, but whatever it was, it didn't accomplish it. Since the being woke me up suddenly, I couldn't remember anything else and struggled going back to sleep before my early morning shift.

A lot happened in my dream from Tuesday night/Wednesday morning. From what I could remember, there was some kind of competition to decide the "best mom" amongst expectant moms. Hospital staff competed (either that or it was simply held by a hospital). It was rather ridiculous, though, and seemed like an oxymoron. They were all competing to be crowned "the best mom" yet the competitions they took place in put their unborn children in harms weigh--there was stuff like wrestling, and all the participants took it so seriously, intent on coming out on top. One of the moms reminded me of the mom of Good Luck Charlie (Amy Duncan?). No one was willing to be defeated, insisting on doing whatever it took to come on top as "best mom," and it was rather alarming. I couldn't understand what good a superficial title would do in light of the potential severe harm they could do to their children by participating. The competition got rather heated, but the specifics were fuzzy when I woke up. The dream transitioned, and it involved Sesshomaru. He had been turned into a dragon for some reason (a stunningly gorgeous, silvery-white dragon with the most beautiful, breath-taking scales for the record). He was trying to communicate with someone, but being transformed into a dragon made communication rather difficult. He was able to communicate with a girl while she was sleeping, but something happened to wake her up and break communication I think. He grew rather frustrated, thinking to himself that it wouldn't have happened if she had trained her abilities with the witch (maybe the girl was Kagome in reference to her lack of official miko/priestess training?). He decided to take matters into his own hands/claws and sought out the witch. Apparently, if he used a special ability tapping into fire he could communicate with the witch, but his consciousness was transported to another realm (astral realm?). He began wandering around this new wilderness in search of her, stumbling across the cutest baby wild cats; one was gray with some spots and the other was black. They kind of reminded me of a snow leopard and panther, but they were siblings. I couldn't remember what happened next for him or if he was able to achieve his goal upon waking, but I did recall the last part of the dream. I had come over to hang out with April and Corliss. They had been chilling together and had gotten food from somewhere. I almost left to get my own food, but they announced that the food they had gotten was lackluster, insisting we all go get food together. April said something about going somewhere named something along the lines of "Chum Bucket" (but it wasn't from Spongebob). We were getting ready to leave when I noticed that it was getting really strange outside; it looked like it was flashing between being foggy and not foggy repeatedly. April and Corliss commented that it almost sounded like the ocean. I noticed a frog had snuck inside and how Chloe, April's cat, was getting ready to kill it, so I let the frog escape to freedom. April's mom came out saying that the staff had been awesome but that their chicken was atrocious. Their relatives came over, and April's mom kept trying to set me up with various people. I think we left to go get food, but the specifics got hazy. That's all I could remember upon waking up rather snug in my bed.

I woke up extra cozy and warm on Thursday morning, which made it a bit challenging to get out of bed (there wasn't much motivation--the only thing that had me wanting to get out of bed was the fact that I wouldn't want to be left alone as the only staff member in before care, which is what I would be doing to my coworker if I stayed in bed right after they injured their knee). Even so, it took me a bit to get out of bed. My dream recall was a bit hazy, but I remembered hanging out with the boys I regularly babysit at one point. There was something about them having me do a craft. All I could remember is that it involved scissors because they went and got me some. I didn't remember much else from that part, other than their parents were involved at one point. There was another point in the dream where I'm pretty sure I was with a life partner. I just remember feeling safe, cozy, and accepted for who I was, rather than any of the specific details. The last thing I could remember is being with another family I babysit fairly regularly for. Their dad was saying something about how he wanted to change jobs but wasn't sure if he wanted to/what he would do if he did change jobs. The kiddos were asking questions about it, and he said something about it being like agreeing to be a roommate with someone and then realizing you didn't want to interact/put up with them any more. They asked how you wouldn't know that you didn't actually want to be their roommate in the first place before agreeing, and I pointed out that people can have issues setting boundaries, that some can end up being pushovers if others are adamant about what they want. I know more happened (it almost felt like we went on a trip somewhere/visited a school for some event or something), but the rest of the dream was fuzzy upon waking.

It was even more difficult to get up for before care on Friday morning; it was way too cold outside, making it extra snuggly and warm under the blankets, and I was feeling rather sleepy. From what I could remember in my dream it sort of seemed like I had a life partner again or at the very least a guardian. I couldn't remember how I met up with the individual, but he was protective (although, at least at first, he sort of seemed like he was just doing a job rather than wholeheartedly wanting to be there). We ended up walking and ended up by a beach. I loved the scenery--it looked breathtaking. He was going to offer to have us go down to the beach, but as the waves crashed upon the shore below, I started pointed out shark after shark, all, "Oh, look! There's a shark! And another one! And another one over there!" The waves were getting higher and traveling father, going amongst the beach goers, and they had no idea that these massive sharks were in their midst (they looked like great whites). My companion immediately revoked his offer to go the beach, deciding it was way too dangerous. He tried to get me to leave, and a few of the beach goers ended up dying via shark. I still wanted to go to the beach (merely because it looked amazing), but my companion was able to convince me to leave, at least for now, promising we could go to the beach some other time. The specifics got a bit fuzzy, but at some point there was some kind of other threat that seemed to be following us. He scooped me up and leapt into some kind of air duct, basically busting his way in. He seemed otherworldly because he was incredibly strong--stronger than any human would be (kind of gave me the impression of a vampire, but from what I could tell he hadn't drank any blood). He took protecting me seriously, guiding me through the vents. We stumbled upon this room that sort of seemed like a hideout. It seemed to be the dwelling of this being of power; I think she was supposed to be similar to a god of creation. The space had some pretty amazing crystals, and I was mesmerized by them. She seemed to be seeking me out and wanting my help with something, but my companion was skeptical and reluctant to trust her, wanting to ensure my safety as his number one priority. I think I was supposed to be a god of destruction or something, but I didn't really give off that vibe--I seemed really sweet, pure, and innocent and not like a traditional god of destruction at all; I seemed to be truly in love with the world. Some other girl appeared, demanding I help her, insisting that she had traveled far and wide in search of me. I didn't see a problem with helping her, but my companion was unsure about assisting her. I think they reached an agreement, making a contract of sorts, to ensure my wellbeing while she got the help she desired. More definitely happened in the dream, but that was all I could remember upon waking up.

I was feeling rather sleepy again on Saturday morning, but it wasn't as bad as Friday (probably because I didn't get up super early for a before care shift and could take my time getting up instead). My dream recall was kind of fuzzy, but from what I could remember I was traveling with my parents and siblings like we were on some family trip/vacation. We stopped at a Chick-fil-A to get food. I was rather hungry, but while my parents got a bunch of food for themselves and everyone else, they only got me a sandwich. I tried to explain how that wouldn't be enough for how hungry i was because I knew we wouldn't be stopping again any time soon, but they wouldn't listen to me. I got rather frustrated and wanted to cry because they were blatantly ignoring me while taking care of everyone else. There was some weirdness going on with my brother in the bathroom, but I couldn't remember what specifically happened. The next thing I remembered was being in a classroom with one of my high school writing teachers. Not sure if I was supposed to be in a high school class or not, but I was reviewing work that I would need to turn in eventually. My teacher was on the phone, and it turned out there was drama going on with her family. From what I could overhear without meaning to eavesdrop her nephew was staying with her because his parents were killed, and he was struggling. She said something about having about 1000 students that could help him if necessary, and she was referring to the ones like me that were enrolled in her class. Things got a bit hazy again, and I recalled wandering around some town. I didn't recognize it, but there were sunflowers and bees painted everywhere. It was interesting. I think I got kind of lost and wound up sort of by a woodsy area. It seemed sort of like Jurassic Park, and a bunch of dinosaurs came out that basically started invading the nearby city. I remembered wanting to go back to the town full of the sunflower and bee motifs and tried to find my way back. I got kind of stuck at a mall in my attempt to go back and was unable to go around it despite my attempts. One of the boys I babysit started messaging me about games and such as I tried to get back outside. The last thing I remembered was finding a rather large park once I finally found a way back outside, determined to find a way back to the town.

The first part of my dream somehow involved the characters from Kim Possible, but the specific details were veiled in a haze when I woke up this morning. The next thing I cod remember was being in the world of Miraculous. I was friends with Adrien. A group of us were in that underground garden area where Gabriel keeps Adrien's mom. Somehow not only Adrien was Cat Noir but Felix was, too. Marinette was there as Ladybug. There was some fancy chair down there that was apparently Gabriel's that I happened to be sitting in. Gabriel came down and found us there, none too happy about it. I started saying something about it being the strangest thing that the elevator must be broken since it sent is down to some kind of basement. Gabriel seemed to freak out and pulled out some sort of syringe. He tried to inject me with some strange, green, almost-glowing kind of liquid. He managed to inject part of it before I stopped him and turned it around on himself, causing him to inject himself, too. I started feeling kind of loopy, but whatever it was incapacitated Gabriel, causing him to fall to the ground and not be able to move at all. Cat Noir took both of Gabriel's miraculous. I think more happened, but that's all I could remember about this part of the dream.

The last thing I could recall was being at some kind of school. I was in some classroom, but the teacher was MIA for some reason. I ended up trying to keep some kind of order to the classroom, tidying up the supply shelves (that looked an awful lot like the ones at the local children's museum's art studio) and whatnot. One if my supervisors from a previous job came in and started asking me questions, like what my grandparents' and mom's names were, if certain classmates had been showing up to class, etc. I answered her questions, letting her know that I hadn't seen one of my classmates show up at all. She took notes on all of my answers. She then asked how I spend most of my time outside of class. I told her I read, wrote, created art, and did some babysitting. She made a comment about how one of Corliss's nephews, Devon, had been telling her all about me. She seemed to have everything she needed and went to talk to other students. I noticed there was more mess and went to tidy up, picking up pencils off the floor and the like. The supervisor noticed and stopped me, telling me to go read a picture book. I was thoroughly confused and asked, "A picture book?" She insisted I stop what I was doing and go read a picture book or better yet 1000 picture books. She went back to what she was doing, leaving me to find a picture book to read. I didn't particularly want to, but as I searched through the picture book section, I stumbled across a manga. I had never seen it before, and it happened to be the 3rd volume in the series; that didn't bother me, though. It involved a cat, and I decided it counted as a "picture book" since there were a great deal of illustrations in it. Parts of the dialogue were written in French for some reason and parts of translations in Spanish, but I didn't let it deter me. I decided if I was supposed to read a picture book, this would be the one even if that's not what the supervisor intended. More probably happened in the dream, but that's all I remembered upon waking.

It was nice sleeping in on Monday morning due to the holiday, but I enjoyed seeing all the kiddos in before care; they're a lot of fun. This week they decided to draw Godzilla facing off against a Yeti that wanted to eat a bunch of people; they also added what looked like a hyper beam to the drawing (although it was hard for me to tell exactly who was using hyper beam). The kids decided to try and capture a leprechaun, too. They started making all this "food" for their leprechaun party using shaving cream, glue, and green food coloring. Apparently, it just needed to be green to lure a leprechaun in. They had my coworker and me sit at the table and pretend to be leprechauns (even though they said that my coworker was the real leprechaun). My coworker started drawing a picture of catching a leprechaun only to be chastised as "real leprechauns don't draw or color." I said something about leprechauns being people (maybe saying that the leprechaun might not want to be trapped), which the kids adamantly denied, insisting they were elves; I pointed out that I didn't say human but rather "people" and explained that I saw people as individuals with thoughts, feelings, hopes, and aspirations. They didn't like my answer, telling me I was wrong, that the leprechauns were elves and something about them not deserving rights. More and more kids kept joining their efforts to lure and capture a leprechaun with the party, covering the tables with their created offerings. It got somewhat messy, but they were rather invigorated by their project, so we didn't see a problem with it. They ended up having a dance party in the gym and got really into it, exclaiming that they should have one every morning (frankly, as it kept them happy and occupied, meaning there were no disagreements and bickering, we have no problem with it).

One of the girls was also telling us all about all her past mishaps, like the time she broke her thumb with a rock or when her sister got bit by a dog on the eyebrow. Her stories gradually moved to be centered around fire. Granted, I'm not sure if her stories are entirely true, but I don't see what lying about it would accomplish--she relished in all of her fire stories. One involved dousing some kind of deer (not alive, but it could have been a plush or taxidermy deer) in lighter fluid and setting it ablaze after her dad told her not to. There was a time where a worker came over to cut down a tree in their yard; she doused said tree in lighter fluid and set it ablaze like the deer even though she was told not to, causing her dad to put it out with the hose. Apparently, she even set her sister's favorite shirt ablaze in their driveway one day, leaping into the pool to escape her sister's wrath. She informed us that even though their parents have lighters/matches locked up, she knew all the passwords combinations because her mom used family birthdays and that she knew them all. She said it wouldn't matter if her mom put a lock on the drawer--she'd find a way in. I remarked that maybe her mom should get a false bottom for the drawer so that she wouldn't realize where they were, but she insisted she would know it and claimed that she told her mom to get a false bottom already. If nothing else, her storytelling was interesting, and she was incredibly enthusiastic about it.

It was a fun week of babysitting; the boys were happy to see me again, and as soon as they got into the car, they were eager for updates on YashaHime. They were so excited to hear about Moroha's interactions with Kagome and InuYasha as well as hear all about Shippo's appearance finally. They had so many questions and soaked up all the info enthusiastically, coming up with all sorts of theories about what will happen next. They mused whether or not Shippo and Takechiyo would get along since tanuki and kitsune have a history of rivalry. They enjoyed looking up more InuYasha/YashaHime memes, finding them hilarious. We also celebrated Pearl's 5th birthday this week! Happy birthday, Pearl! The boys got her a bunch of doggie cookies to celebrate, and she was psyched. Their mom texted me Friday night to thank me for all my help over the years--but especially the past two--and apparently, one of the boys hijacked her phone so he could add in a bit about how cool he was. It was quite humorous; I adore their family, and I'm grateful for the opportunity to work with them.

I also got to babysit for another family Saturday night, and the kids were super psyched to see me. Heck, even their dog, Duchess, was bouncing off the walls in excitement when she saw me walking up to their house. It was super cute. We had fun playing Animal Crossing, as the boy wanted help getting through some of his projects/tasks and needed extra materials. We also played Uno Attack, and that was an interesting experience. I had never played before, and they did not hold back, hitting me hard with all the attack cards. Funnily enough, I managed to get the swap hands card each time and, thus, gave them the massive amounts of cards they made me pick up. I had fun with it, but their competitive streaks were coming out, which left them more than a little miffed that their plans would backfire. The girl found out that their doorframe in the kitchen to the basement is magnetic, so she started using her magnetic, dry-erase labels to leave messages for her family. It was adorable. It's always fun to hang out with them; their parents asked for me to come back for the trivia night in about a month but admitted that the kids would likely want to see me much sooner, saying they would keep in touch if any babysitting opportunities would come up. I look forward to having fun with them again!

Tsuki was a nutty kitty, but that's not surprising at all. She enjoyed exploring the snow, but she was being so stubborn, refusing to come inside even though she was getting so cold. I had to pick her up and bring her inside (Tsuki wanted to be out in the snow too much to listen to her cold, shivering body, the nut). With it being so bitterly cold this week, she loved snuggling up in her bed (usually with her fuzzy ball toy); she even forced her way into the small cat house in attempt to stay warm. At night she kept creeping up on me while I was reading on the couch before launching herself at me to attack. Tsuki's such a goof. She's enjoyed lounging on the arm of the couch; I often found her there when I would return from before care. Tsuki also has been quite the bell addict, losing over 100 around the house. She also would flip around in the metal bin/basket in attempt to get the bells she put in there, and she literally had us laughing out loud at her antics. Tsuki also loved snoozing on the chair next to me while I did some writing this week.

I received more goodies this week! I decided to order more bracelets from Evolve Mala since I enjoyed my first bracelet I ordered from them so much. I ended up getting some for Corliss and some for myself. I wonder what bracelets they'll come out with next since they seem to rotate new bracelets in every now and then. I also got new goodies from Spiritual Supermall's Divine $9. I got new citrine crystal spheres with tigers eye bowls, a solid black tourmaline pyramid, a kyanite orgonite wand, and some pendulums. I look forward to seeing what new releases they have for Divine $9 next week!

I made some more Perler bead art this week, a few items being gifts for my coworker's birthday since they love music, take part in a band every now and then, and teach guitar lessons. I also played with making some digital art of a night sky and had a go at creating Perler bead constellations. Artwork for the week included:

I spent more time writing, reading, and watching anime this week. My newest story is now posted. Spontaneous Ceremony is based off what I witnessed in the gym during before care one morning. The kids rarely huddle up on the floor like the trio did, as normally they're practically bouncing off the walls with energy, and I never anticipated stumbling across kids pretending to hold such a ceremony. Kids always keep things interesting and are full of creativity. Feel free to read it and share your thoughts! I'm also open to suggestions and recommendations for future stories! I have other pieces in the works, so stay tuned for more stories! Fanfic for the week included: The Curious Case of Kagome's Scent, Damsel on Display, Good Advice, Puppy From the Past, The Syndrome, This Sesshomaru Doesn't Do Christmas, On the Outside, and Last Night. YashaHime had me so hyped this week! Granted, while Kirinmaru wanting to save humanity from the Grim Comet isn't inherently bad (one could argue that it's admirable), but the intent matters. Plus, the ends don't justify the means. Slaughtering a whole clan just to prove you're "the strongest" is messed up on so many levels, especially since they did him no wrong. Heck, Toga/Inu no Taisho tried to help Kirinmaru and warn him about bringing Rion to the battlefield, but he didn't listen. I don't see things going well for Kirinmaru in the long run, and it was pretty hilarious to see him getting blown away by a spirit. It's great to see everyone finally free from the black pearl, but the cliffhanger they left us on is brutal--we don't know if everyone is actually okay even though people seem saved. They make me wish it was next Saturday already so I can see what happens next! The suspense of it all is so intense, and I'm all to eager to know how the story continues. I want them all to have happy reunions, but it hasn't happened yet. They totally teased us with a happy reunion between Towa, Setsuna, and their parents, and we keep being denied it. It's frustrating, but I'm also so excited to see each new episode! Gosh, I love YashaHime!

I also watched Life Lessons With Uramichi Oniisan this week; it kind of reminds me of Aggretsuko. The show doesn't shy away from being brutally honest. It can be shocking at times, to say the least, and I found myself remarking, "Wow, this is really happening." It felt like a social commentary. I could see it being pretty relative to a massive amount of people with the systems that are currently in place. I wholeheartedly admit that I adore Kumatani; he had his limits, and he wasn't about to let bosses get away with unforgiveable acts. Plus, he loves cats, so he can definitely be a friend of mine (lol).

I watched the first part of The Case Study of Vanitas, and I'm in love. Noe and Vanitas are freaking adorable together. I love watching their interactions; they're hilarious. I was hooked and just kept wanting more. Turns out, there's going to be a part 2, which I'm hyped about. I'd be rather disappointed if it was over in just 12 episodes; it doesn't feel like nearly enough. I feel like they have a deeper bond developing between them than friendship/brotherhood, and I can't wait to see what happens next! I enjoy Roland, too, and how he was willing to be openminded enough to change his worldview; he had been convinced that all vampires were evil and the enemy, but after seeing Vanitas and Noe, a human and vampire, share a genuine laugh together, he began to question whether his beliefs and what he had been taught were true after all. He began to dig deeper, scouring the books to research the history of the two, so he could decide for himself what is true. One of the other high ranking Chasseurs, Olivier, tries to discourage this change, emphasizing that the group/the Church could go after Roland's loved ones as they would view this as betrayal, Roland isn't swayed; he asserts that he could only act and get behind what he whole-heartedly believes and muses aloud how many of the Paladins he could take on by himself if need be, effectively informing Olivier that he will take a stand against the Chasseurs and the Church if necessary. Roland stands in his truth and power and refuses to let fear sway him, and I respect the heck out of him for it. We could definitely learn from Roland's example for living and speaking our truth, regardless of what "the powers that be" try to enforce.

We can change if we allow ourselves to and have an open mind. Anything is possible, but we often trip ourselves up and get in our own way. 2022 is a year full potential and blessings if we allow it to be. If we follow our passion, listen to our hearts, and stay authentic, our lives will change for the better in the blink of an eye. The universe has our backs, but we rarely trust the universe and provide the opportunity for its blessings to come in. We need to stop getting caught up with all the "shoulds" when they are actually just "no's" to ourselves. We're often reminded to be kind to others, but we typically forget that includes ourselves--we need to be kind not only to other people but be kind to ourselves. Be gentle with yourself. Take time for self care and joy. Breathe and give yourself the chance to relax. We came into this life to enjoy it; we're doing the best we can, and we don't need to complicate it with guilt, shame, and "should." We don't need to cause more struggle and suffering for ourselves. Focus on being more than doing; we can do all the things in the world, but that doesn't mean we will enjoy it. Find a way to savor the moment and make time for joy. You're worthy just by being you. Stay blessed with love and light, everyone~

Food for thought from Ralph Smart on Infinite Waters: