I hope everyone is doing well! This year has certainly been rather intense and challenging; there can be times where it feels completely overwhelming. Things certainly seem to be heating up this October. People's foundations seem rather shaky. There's a lot of uncertainty. People aren't sure where to go or what to do next. It can feel extremely overpowering, perhaps even as if you're drowning. Amanda Ellis provides some food for thought when dealing with tumultuous emotions and difficult times:
A lot is going on in the world and energetically speaking right now. Here's some food for thought about the current energies/happenings--I hope you find some benefit from it:
It's been a eventful yet uneventful week on my end. Tutoring went smoothly. Their dog liked cuddling (since it got rather cold) and using me as a pillow; at one point, the 6th grader decided to cuddle up under the blanket (he decided to wear shorts and a t-shirt and didn't want to change into warmer clothes). While we were hanging out, he decided I had to watch a video from one of his favorite YouTubers; it was about a speed run for Cooking Mama. It seemed interesting enough, and when she mentioned how watching Food Wars! had prepared her for Cooking Mama, I was intrigued. He asked me what Food Wars! was; not wanting to lie, I honestly told him that it was about these students that go to this elite cooking academy in order to hone their skills to become the greatest chefs. He seemed disinterested in that explanation (which is probably a good thing because as she notes in her speed run video, if your under 18, you shouldn't look Food Wars! up; the story and character growth is great, but there are aspects that are definitely not meant for kids). I appreciated the anime reference. He also wanted to show off Fortnite; it underwent this update for the Halloween season. The ghost/zombie component of the update is interesting. He also was gathering a bunch of brooms at one point for some reason (I couldn't figure out why, but to me it looked like a glowing nest). Spending time with kids definitely keeps things interesting.
Fluffy cat has also been extra cuddly. She's spent mornings all snuggled up next to me. She's been rather disappointed with how cold it's been since she still wants to go outside, but she's making the most of the situation by cuddling with by the fire and perching atop the couch to look out the window. She's so cute!
I spent my down time enjoying art, fanfic, and anime. With Iris's birthday coming up in the next few weeks, I decided to create a piece of art for her. I created another 3-D name sculpture/collage piece. I hope she enjoys it! I also made some stamps using erasers. It's pretty straightforward and simple (you draw a design on the eraser, carve it out with a sharpened pencil, color it with marker, press it onto paper after moistening it with your breath, and presto!). I might make some more stamps since I have quite a few more erasers. It's soothing working on art like this; you can get absorbed into the process rather than worrying about other things.
Awhile back (probably years ago now) Corliss recommended this fanfic called "Unspoiled." I adore this fanfic (to be completely honest, it feels like it could be cannon--it doesn't feel outrageous or anything). One of the reasons that I have always enjoyed this fanfic, causing me to reread it over and over again like Corliss does (aside from the fact that it is really well written), is that there's a focus on Sesshomaru. Sesshomaru is my favorite character from InuYasha, and I have always wished for a spin off series featuring the travels of Sesshomaru (to be honest, when I first saw InuYasha back in 6th grade Sesshomaru kind of scared me--he was intense and seemed kind of cruel; as the series progressed I came to understand him more, and I love his character development). "Unspoiled" provides insight into Sesshomaru's childhood, and I adore it! After reading "Unspoiled" for the first time, I started reading more of the fanfics by Forthright (the author), but my progress got stalled for a time due to becoming busy with life's everyday demands. This week I went back to read some more, and I was not disappointed. I chose to read "Lord Charming" and "Imperceptible." I love stories that explore Sesshomaru's character. I tried finding more to read from other authors (since I had finished all of the fanfics featuring Sesshomaru by Forthright), but I haven't found any others yet that are on the level of Forthright's (maybe I became a bit spoiled with their writing and storytelling prowess?). If anyone has any recommendations, please let me know! I've also enjoyed the first four episodes of Yashahime; I'm curious to see how the next generation continues the story from where InuYasha concluded. I'm hoping we get flashbacks to Sesshomaru's childhood (one YouTuber suspects that Sesshomaru's mom raised Setsuna for some time, so maybe we will get flashbacks--who knows?). Does anyone have any predictions for Yashahime? I'm curious to see what unveils for Kirinmaru--the continent has been mentioned before in InuYasha, but I'm pretty sure this is a first time mentioning a major yokai from there (excluding Hyoga from the first movie, of course). I'm also not surprised that Setsuna mastered the violin so quickly--Sesshomaru is super intelligent, and it seems like something he would do with ease (master something practically instantaneously); like father like daughter. I wonder what other surprises Yashahime has in store for us--I can't wait!
I also watched 7 Seeds this week, and I felt it had some very relevant messages in regards to what else has transpired within my family life. I've always kind of felt like I don't particularly belong with my family (in a black sheep sort of way), and this week has further emphasized this. My family means well, but they're so consumed by fear. Fear drives their thoughts and decisions. They've been trying to force their beliefs upon me, attempting to get me to conform to their way. When I point out anything that contradicts their beliefs or try to explain my perspective, they get aggressive. Saying anything at all seems to trigger them. They try to belittle my perspective, they become judgmental and accusatory, and they try to manipulate me through fear, antagonism, bullying, threats, and abuse. This is no exaggeration. At one point one of them walked up to me and slammed his hands down, trying to demonstrate physical superiority and inspire intimidation before laying out an ultimatum. One family member made a sort of attempt to understand me, but then they ended up using that attempt as a platform to "convert" me to their side. They just want to be right. They're not truly listening. If I try to provide an alternative perspective, they shout at me not to question things. Why is it so wrong to question things? I'm not saying that I am all-knowing or anything; I just want them to consider other things rather than outright jumping to conclusions and writing things off. Honestly, it feels like they've been brainwashed, but they can't see it at all. All of this drama was occurring as I reached this critical point in 7 Seeds where the brainwashing that happened to Team Summer A is being addressed; it was so deep that they couldn't even recognize the choices that they had. The team was always "thinking," but they weren't able to think for themselves. They were convinced that they knew what they wanted (to pass the test), but they couldn't come up with a reason as to why they wanted that. The parallels to my family (and society at large) are striking. People don't see what is right in front of them because their focus is too narrow. The choices are right in front of them, but they can't even recognize them because they've been conditioned not to see. I have a clip of the impactful scene if you would like to see for yourself.
A lot has happened this year (while feeling like not much has happened at all with the lockdowns, closures, mandates, etc.). The current state can be rather discouraging, but there's always a silver lining. That's not to say that you should ignore your feelings or sweep things under the rug. It's important to be authentic and respect how you feel. You can feel your emotions and embrace them, but you do not have to stay there. A lot of people probably ask, "Why?" in situations like these, but it's more imperative to ask, "What can this teach me?" It's not wrong to ask, "Why?" Not at all. That question doesn't reach the deeper meaning, intention, or purpose of the universe, though. The universe is a place of love (even if it can seem to the contrary at times); the universe will either bring us gifts of blessings or opportunities for lessons. The universe only has our best interest at heart. It's up to us to obtain the lesson's teaching, though. Even with the best of teachers, if the student has no desire to learn, they will not. There are times where our perceived "worst" events are actually our greatest blessings because they help us grow the most. Losing income due to a job loss isn't necessarily ideal, but this opening allows for greater good to come in. Perhaps if you hadn't lost the job, you would have chosen to remain stuck their for decades never reaching your full potential. The opening provides the opportunity to follow your heart and pursue your dream job. It all boils down to choice, though. We can choose to wallow in misery (the universe will not deny us this opportunity). We can choose to look for the opportunities in the circumstances. We can choose to stay put. We can choose to take a step into the unknown and try something new. We can choose to find reasons to become depressed, angry, or scared. We can choose to find reasons to be grateful, happy, and loved. It's always our choice. Always. Even if others would like to convince us otherwise, we have the choice. What do you choose? I hope you stay well, my friends; don't lose hope--the universe is always on your side. Stay blessed with love and light, everyone~
Here's some food for thought from Spirit Science:
Some food for thought from Ralph Smart on Infinite Waters:
Here's some food for thought for this week: